Abandoned Innocence
by sweetkiwi604
Summary: In the cookie of life, sisters are the chocolate chips. For Dean and Sam having their older sister Michelle around was having someone to lean on, someone to count on and someone to tell on. Follow the pre-series of the Winchester siblings and what it means to be a sister.
1. The Beginning

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only belongs to me. This is going to be a string of pre-series one shots put together, they won't be in order but there will be ages before every section. If you have anything you would like to see feel free to let me know and I'll work it in. I'm starting with the one where Mary dies so there is some back story but other than that this will all be pre-series stuff. I'm also going to try and write in third person but it may just be for this chapter.**

**As always please read and review!**

Michelle-5

Dean-3

Sam-6 months

"Vroom…vroom…vroom," Dean made noise as he sat in the living room pushing his toy cars in circles, "Shell-shell want to play?"

"I can't I'm waiting to help momma with Sammy," Michelle answered as her feet swung back and forth off the side of the chair.

"Help how?" Dean asked stopping his car to look up at his older sister.

"I don't know," Michelle shrugged, "Momma said I was her little helper."

"Where's Da-da?" Dean asked with his head cocked to the side like a little puppy.

"Working but I'm staying up until he gets home," Michelle said getting off the chair and sticking her tongue out.

"Well so am I," Dean argued standing toe to toe with his older sister. She stood a whole head above him but that never stopped him before.

"Na-uh you're a baby," Michelle argued back.

"Am not, Sam-Sam baby," Dean pouted.

"Yeah well I'm five," Michelle smiled holding up all five fingers.

"What's going on here?" Mary asked as she walked into the living room to see her two oldest children getting ready to wrestle.

"Shell-shell says she is staying up 'til Da-da gets home," Dean quickly informed her with his hands on hips to show he meant business.

"Oh really?" Mary questioned with a smile playing on her lips as she kneeled down to be on their level.

"Please Momma," Michelle begged giving the best puppy dog eyes she could, "You said I could help you with Sammy."

"Don't you think Dean would like to help to?" Mary asked sweetly.

"But I'm your little helper and I'm five," Michelle answered crossing her arms as a scowl came across her face to match Dean's.

"And I'm free!" Dean declared.

"You my sweet boy are not free," Mary laughed as she held up three fingers, "You are three."

"Yeah and I'm five," Michelle stated again holding up all five fingers.

"Well do you think my beautiful five year old and my sweet three year old would want to help me sing a song to Sammy?" Mary asked looking between them hopefully.

"Together?" Michelle asked.

"I think Sammy would really like it if both his siblings would sing for him," Mary replied as she reached her hands out.

They each took a hand as they climbed the stairs to Sam's nursery.

"De doesn't know how to sing," Michelle quietly pointed out as Mary lifted Sam from his crib.

"Then we will have to pick a song he does know," Mary answered as she started humming 'Let it Be' by The Beatles.

"When I find myself in times of trouble," Michelle started singing the all too familiar song.

"Mother Mary comes to me speaking words or wisdom," Mary joined in.

"Let it be!" Dean added smiling that he knew at least three of the words.

They continued to sing until Sam had drifted off to sleep in Mary's arms and Dean was curled up on the rocking chair in the room.

"Alright you two time for bed," Mary said as she watched Michelle yawn and Dean barely able to keep his eyes open.

"Night Sam-Sam," Dean said as his eyes drifted close.

"Night Sammy, hope you like our song," Michelle said softly as she kissed him on the head before Mary placed him gently in his crib so he wouldn't wake.

"Come on beautiful girl let's get your brother to bed," Mary said as she scooped up an already sleeping Dean into her arms and carried him into his room.

"I'll put his light on," Michelle said with a yawn as she turned on the racecar night light.

"Such a big help you are," Mary smiled as she tucked Dean in, "Now it's your turn."

"But I wanted to wait 'til Daddy gets home," Michelle pouted as she stomped her way down the hall.

"Well then I guess it's a good thing I'm home," John smiled at the top of the stairs covered head to toe in grease from work.

"Daddy!" Michelle squealed as she ran into his waiting arms.

"And how's my seashell tonight?" John asked as he shifted her so she sat on his hip.

"I was good all day and then I helped Momma but De and Sammy to bed and we sang that song," Michelle replied quickly.

"Then the only thing left to do is for you to go to bed," John said walking towards her room.

"I'm not tired," Michelle said rubbing her eyes.

"Well I'm very tired and you know I don't like to sleep until all my babies are so unless you want Daddy to be very cranky tomorrow you will go to sleep," John said placing her on her bed and pulling the covers back.

"Ok but only cause you tired," Michelle said lying down as John walked out of the room.

"Good night beautiful, remember angels are watching over you," Mary said as she kissed Michelle on the head.

"Momma," Michelle called out as Mary was getting to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you like that song so much?" Michelle asked sleepily.

"Because it was playing the night your Daddy and I met," Mary answered smiling.

"Oh…ok," Michelle answered already half asleep.

The next thing Michelle knew she woke up to her Dad screaming. She crawled out of bed and ran down the hallway where she met a groggy Dean standing there with his stuffed dog.

"Mary!" John screamed again and Michelle ran towards her father's voice.

What she saw would be engraved in her mind for the rest of her life. There was her mother pinned to the ceiling burning alive. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream but instead she was pushed from the room by her father who had Sam in his arms.

"Take your brothers outside," John yelled putting Sam in Michelle's arms and making Dean hold on to her sleeve, "Now Michelle, Go!"

Michelle ran as fast as she could out of the house making sure she didn't drop Sam and that Dean was right beside her. She never knew how much responsibility her father had just given her and at five years old she quickly became an adult leaving her childhood to burn away in the house with her mother.


	2. Sam's Story

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**I didn't like writing in a general point of view so this chapter will by from Michelle's perspective and I will jump around with the ages so don't worry I will be doing chapters from when they were little. I hope it's not too fluffy.**

**Please read and review!**

Sam's Story

Michelle- 19

Dean- 17

Sam- 14

This was the first year I finally got something off my plate, school. For the first time in eighteen years I got time to myself and as much as I loved it the first month now I'm starting to get bored. Dad is out on another hunt leaving me to watch over Dean and Sammy, one of the many unwritten rules of being the oldest. Just like being the first one up and the last one to bed which often had me running on two hours of sleep and over a gallon of coffee a day. People might ask why I put up with it but I don't know any other way. Dad does the best he can but between the demon hunting and the random bars it is my responsibility to make sure there is food on the table, the motel room is paid for and most importantly that school work is done often making me the bad guy.

"Shelly, don't forget I need to be to school early!" Sam yelled from the bathroom.

"Ugh," Dean groaned still in bed, "Dude, it's 7:00 in the morning."

"And you need to get up for school too or maybe you shouldn't have been out so late with that cheerleader," I said kicking the bottom of his bed as I made my way over to the small coffee pot in the room.

"Come on Shell, I'm a senior I'm supposed to miss a day or ten," Dean said pulling the covers over his head.

"And if you miss anymore you won't be eligible to graduate," I stated pulling the covers off of him and if looks could kill I would have been dead.

"I still don't understand what good a diploma will do it's not like we are ever going to need to get a real job," Dean grumbled as he stole my coffee in an attempt to wake up.

"We're not going to be hunting forever," Sam said coming out of the bathroom slightly shaking his head to get the hair out of his eyes.

"Why not?" Dean questioned pulling on a pair of fairly clean jeans causing me to make a mental note to do laundry today while they were at school.

"Because I'm going to college one day," Sam said with a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah I don't think so," Dean laughed.

"You're not the boss of me," Sam said hitting Dean in the shoulder.

"Says who?" Dean said throwing him in a headlock.

"Says me," I said holding up Sam's backpack and Dean's notebooks, "Now, get in the car!"

"God you're bitchy in the morning," Dean mumbled letting go of Sam, grabbing his books and heading for the door.

"Love you too little brother," I replied shaking my head.

"Shelly, how long do you think we will be here for?" Sam asked as I locked up the motel room.

"I don't know buddy, why?"

"Just…just wondering," he answered and started walking for the car.

"Hey," I said putting my hand on his shoulder to stop him, "What's going on?"

"There's supposed to be some award ceremony thing on Friday and if my story wins then I'm supposed to read it in front of everyone and it's not like I know I will win but I hope I do and then I would really want to go but I know if dad finds another job it won't matter and we will have to leave right away anyways," Sam rambled off all in one breath.

"Are you guys coming or did I get up for nothing," Dean yelled from the car.

"Well Sammy, I think you should try your best at the story and when you win I will be there," I answered him.

"Really?" he said with a doubtful look on his face, "I mean if dad says no…"

"Sam, I promise I will be there," I said with a smile on my face as he climbed into the backseat of the Impala.

It was the only thing my father had ever given me and it was more of a necessity that we had transportation when he wasn't around.

"Nice try loser, move over," I told Dean who was sitting in the driver's seat.

"Oh come on, you never let me drive," Dean complained as he slid over to the passenger seat.

"You drove on the way here," I corrected him as I pulled out of the parking lot.

"That doesn't count," he argued.

"Yes it does," Sam chimed in.

"No it doesn't," Dean bickered.

"Do you think you two could go a whole day with out arguing?" I asked with a sigh.

"What's in it for us?" Dean asked with a smirk on his face.

"You two don't argue for the rest of the week and then we will talk."

"The rest of the week?" Sam exclaimed, "But it's only Tuesday!"

"What did you have in mind?" Dean questioned and I could see the wheels turning in his head as we drove through town.

"I'll make you a deal, you two don't fight for the rest of the week and I'll let you borrow the car on three separate occasions with no questions asked."

"What about me?" Sam asked leaning forward so that his head was between mine and Dean's shoulders.

"I won't make you cut your hair," I laughed and so did Dean.

"That's it?!"

"Fine, I won't make you cut your hair and I'll clean the weapons when dad gets back," I said pulling up to the high school, "So, do we have a deal?"

"Deal," they both answered before getting out of the car.

"Hey De," I called after him causing him to walk back to the window of the car as Sam ran inside.

"What?"

"Please no more trouble," I almost begged.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said waving it off.

"Dean I'm serious you are on thin ice with this school and we need you to graduate," I tried again.

"Why…why are you so worried about me graduating?" he asked confused.

"Because it's the one thing dad and I agree on," I said with a small smile, "Now, don't be late; I'll be back at 2:30."

I drove back to the motel with the music blaring drowning out all my worries. Once I made it back to the motel I loaded the car with our dirty laundry and headed for the Laundromat. I sorted our clothes into the washers and ignored the looks I was getting from the other customers as I tried to get the blood stains out of Dean's jeans from our last hunt and then I headed for the grocery store. Dad would be fine with us ordering out every night but there were a few essentials I always had to get like Hot Pockets for Dean and a few fresh veggies so Sam and I could make salad and I couldn't leave without grabbing a can off dark roast coffee. After finishing all my errands and picking up the laundry I noticed my dad's truck in the parking lot of the motel.

I grabbed as much as I could and barreled my way through the door.

"Want a hand?" Dad offered standing up from the small couch in the room.

"I got it," I answered simply throwing the laundry on the bed and walking back out the door to grab the groceries.

"I hope you didn't get too much, we're heading out tomorrow," Dad said as I closed the motel room door.

"What?" I questioned immediately remembering my promise to Sam and the conversation I had with Dean's guidance counselor.

"There's a nest of vampires on the other side of the state that I can't do alone," Dad answered as he took out a beer from our small fridge.

"Dad I promised Sam we would be here until at least the end of the week," I tried.

"So you want me to ignore a job?" Dad asked with that look on his face that I should chose my next words wisely.

"No sir," I replied with a sigh.

"Don't get an attitude with me Michelle you know how important our job is," he stated.

"How big is the nest?" I asked with a plan forming in my head.

"Not too big about four or five but it wouldn't be smart to go alone," Dad answered casually before turning his full attention to me, "Why?"

"So what if we went," I suggested.

"That's what I said we leave tomorrow," Dad said looking at me like I had six heads.

"No, I mean you and me," I clarified.

"What about Dean and Sam?"

"What about them? They stay here and go to school while we take care of the vampires, everyone wins."

"I don't like the idea of splitting up; if something goes wrong we will be too far away."

I had to admit I didn't like that fact either but I had never broken a promise to Sam or Dean for the matter and I wasn't going to start now.

"You said it yourself you can't do this alone," I started.

"Exactly so we should all go," Dad cut me off.

"It's not like I've never been hunting with you before," I argued getting pissed off, "We used to leave them in the motel room all the time!"

"We were never this far away!" Dad yelled.

"Dad please," I begged giving him the best puppy dog eyes I could.

"Michelle," he warned.

"Then I'll go by myself," I stated walking over to my duffle and throwing my clean clothes inside.

"You will do no such thing!" Dad hollered standing up, "I'm still the parent around here!"

"That's a good one," I laughed turning around to face him, "You're only a parent when you can fit us in."

I didn't even have a chance to react as he raised his hand and smacked me across the face. It wasn't like he was an abusive parent, we all had our fair share of spankings throughout the years but it was always on our rear ends. A few times he had let his anger get the best of him or maybe I just knew the right buttons to push. I took a step back and had to hold in the tears as I raised my hand to my stinging cheek.

"Oh God," Dad breathed out, "Seashell I…"

"I have to go," I whispered walking to the door.

"Michelle wait," Dad called out.

"I have to go get the boys they'll be waiting for me," I replied not bothering to turn around as I walked out the door to the Impala.

I didn't even bother turning on the radio as I drove to the high school I was too lost in thought. I pulled up to my normal spot and both brothers were already waiting for me.

"Shell I did it!" Sam exclaimed getting into the backseat as dean slid into the passenger seat.

"Yeah you are officially a nerd," Dean commented as I started to drive away.

"They picked my story and I get to read it Friday!" Sam smiled.

"That's great Sam," I said softly and I didn't miss the look from Dean.

"They said it starts at 7:30 and I should dress nice so I was thinking about wearing my black dress pants and maybe one of Dean's button up shirts, I mean all the ones I have are getting kind of small and maybe I'll even get my hair cut anyways because Hannah said she would be there, isn't that cool?" Sam continued without a care in the world.

"That's awesome bud," I tried to smile but I knew it didn't reach my eyes and I could feel Dean's eyes on me again.

"I know right her story wasn't even chosen but she said she still wants to come to hear mine, do you think that means she likes me?"

"Who would like a geek boy?" Dean teased.

"You're just mad that Melissa didn't talk to you today," Sam said matter-of-factly.

"Who cares about Melissa," Dean said trying to brush it off.

"Dean and Melissa sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Sam sang.

"Shut up!" Dean growled as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Dad's back?" Sam questioned as he saw the truck.

"Yeah," I nodded and went to get out of the car but Dean grabbed my arm.

"Go on Sam, we'll be right in."

Sam complied and Dean sat there as if he was studying me until the motel door shut.

"What the hell happened to your face?" he asked taking my chin in his hand so he could have a better look.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Did dad do this?" Dean questioned and I could hear the anger building inside of him.

"It was just a misunderstanding," I said getting out of the car.

"That's not a misunderstanding!" Dean yelled following me.

"Stop yelling at me," I turned to face him and grabbed his shoulders so he had no choice but to look at me, "I'm fine, going in there and raising your voice isn't going to do any good."

"It's not like we are fighting over who ate the last piece of pizza, he hit you!" Dean exclaimed as he went to touch my cheek.

"Dean Winchester I will lay you out right here and now…let it go," I told him in as much of an authoritative voice I could.

"I'd like to see you try," he sighed which I knew in terms of Dean meant he wouldn't say anything.

We walked into the motel room and I noticed my dad's duffle sitting next to the door.

"Michelle we leave in ten minutes," Dad said not looking up from the television.

"I guess I should go pack," Dean mumbled.

"No, you are staying here with Sam," Dad stated.

"What?" Dean and Sam both questioned.

"You're sister and I can handle this and be back by Saturday morning."

"Saturday," Sam repeated and you could see the smile fall from his face, "You knew all along you were leaving and you didn't say anything?!"

"Sammy it was either we all go or I go with dad and you get to read your story," I tried to explain.

"You promised me!" Sam yelled.

"Sam, I'll be there," Dean tried.

"This family sucks," Sam screamed before slamming the bathroom door.

"We need to get going," Dad said grabbing my duffle off the bed and heading for the door, "Dean, I'm trusting you to watch out for your brother."

"Yes sir," Dean nodded as Dad walked out the door.

"Now remember to salt all the windows and doors and take care of my baby," I said tossing him the keys to the Impala.

"Maybe I should go with him, you two obviously have some issues right now and Sam wants you here," Dean tried.

"You little brother need to go to school and so help me God if I hear you missed even one class, I'll kick your ass," I said pointing my finger at him before pulling him in for a quick hug, "Take care of Sammy."

"Just come back in one piece," he winked as Dad honked the horn.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," I replied before running out to the truck.

The ride was eerily quite to the point where Dad offered me to put on whatever radio station I wanted but I shook my head no, he sighed and put on his country music. The job went better than expected and after a few days we had finished ahead of schedule walking out with only a few minor cuts and bruises.

"So, Bobby called said there is a poltergeist two towns over thought we should check it out since we are in the area," Dad said as he joined me in the table I had gotten us at the local diner.

"Dad we need to go back Sam's ceremony thing is tonight," I replied as I sipped on the weak coffee.

"Yeah and Dean said he would take him," Dad said looking over the menu.

"We finished the job we came for, I'm going back," I said standing up.

"Well then find your own way, I'm going after the poltergeist I'll call in a few days and let you know where to meet me."

"Of course," I mumbled as I walked out of the diner.

I made sure I was no longer in my father's line of sight before hotwiring a car a driving back to my brothers. I was going to be cutting it close but I had to be there, that look on Sam's face kept appearing in my mind when he thought I broke my promise.

I pulled up to the high school at 7:45 and ran into the school. I could hear that they had already started and I snuck into the back of the auditorium just as Sam made his way onto the stage.

"Our assignment was to write about one of your parents but my mother passed away a long time ago and my father isn't around all that often so I wrote about my sister, Michelle. She wasn't able to come tonight but I would still like to read what I wrote. Michelle was the one that would take care of us when we were sick, let us stay up late when our favorite show was on and makes sure we have everything we need. I don't know what it's like to have a mom but if I had to guess Michelle is doing a great job," Sam said before pausing and I felt the tears filling up in my eyes.

Sam finished reading what he had written and received a standing ovation along with a certificate from his English teacher. I waited in the hallway as everyone filled out of the auditorium and pulled myself together.

"You did great Sam," Dean said as they walked towards the front doors.

"Thanks," he sighed, "but she broke her promise."

"Who broke what promise?" I asked walking up behind them.

"You came!" Sam exclaimed his face lighting up as he threw his arms around me.

"Of course I did, a Winchester doesn't break promises," I replied hugging him back.


	3. My Personal Hulk

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! Please read and review!**

**I got this idea from Jenmm31, hope I do it justice =)**

My Personal Hulk

Michelle-17

Dean-15

Sam-12

"Shell, what the hell are you doing in there?" Dean yelled through the bathroom door as I tried desperately to do something with my hair.

"I'll be out in a minute," I replied as I took the last curler out of my hair and pinned my hair up with bobby pins so that it was half up and half down with a few lose ringlets framing my face.

"You've been in there for an hour," Dean complained.

"Oh relax, it hasn't been that long," I said putting a small amount of eye shadow on that I had bought at the convenient store earlier.

"You're going to be late," Sam yelled this time and I pulled out my cell phone to check the time.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I said opening the door and almost barreling through Dean.

I frantically pulled the price tag off the black sling back heels I had bought after dad left for the hunt and put them on while trying to find my jacket, that's when I looked up and saw both brothers staring at me.

"What?" I questioned thinking my dress was somehow stuck in my underwear or that maybe my hair was more a mess than I realized.

"You look pretty," Sam smiled.

"Yeah who knew our sister was actually a chick," Dean smirked.

I couldn't blame him; I was never the girly girl type. I usually wore jeans, a graphic tee and sneakers never spending anytime on my hair besides to brush it and throw it up in a pony tail and had only wore makeup one other time in my life and it was for job.

"I really look ok?" I asked nervously as I fidgeted with my dress. I had on a strapless, blue dress with a black lace overlay that came to just above my knees and a black silk bow around my middle.

"You look late," Dean said with his hands out for the car keys.

"I can't believe you're dropping my off at prom," I sighed as I fished through my backpack for my keys, "And who has prom on a Sunday night?"

"I can't believe your going to prom and they have prom on a school night so people won't get drunk," Dean said holding up my leather jacket so I could slide my arms in.

"You drinking tonight Shelly?" Sam asked.

"No buddy," I said ruffling his shaggy hair, "Just remember…"

"Don't tell dad, we know," they both finished.

It wasn't as if he would have been totally against the idea of me going to prom but we had told him we had to stay behind so Sam could take some state standardized test and I had promised Dean he could use the car as long as he used it to take Sammy out to wherever he wanted to eat.

"Alright, let's go," I said grabbing my room key and tossing it into the small clutch I had that contained some cash, my lip gloss, my extra set of keys for the Impala, my rosary beads and my switchblade.

"Isn't the guy supposed to pick you up?" Sam questioned as we walked out to the car.

"He's going to meet me there," I answered as he ran ahead and opened the passenger side door for me, "Well aren't you just the little gentleman."

"I try," he shrugged as I got in and he closed the door.

"Now remember the rules," I started as Dean backed out of the parking spot.

"We know, we know," Dean mumbled as he reached over for the radio but smacked his hand away.

"Dean you don't legally have your driver's license yet so unless you want to sit home all night and for me to drive myself you'll humor me for five minutes."

"Fine," he sighed.

"Now the rules," I started again.

"Salt the windows and doors," Sam answered.

"And…" I prompted.

"No friends over," Dean grumbled.

"And…"

"Watch out for Sammy," Dean replied like a broken record as we stopped at a red light just before the high school.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," I admitted as the light turned green and we got closer to the school.

"Why?" Sam asked thoroughly confused.

"What if you guys need something or what if…" I rambled off almost incoherently until Dean cut me off.

"Or what if you are actually a normal seventeen year old for one night and have a good time," he said as he pulled up in front of the school.

"What's normal?" I asked as I took a deep breath before getting out of the car and holding the door open so Sam could jump in the front, "Just call if you need anything!"

"Yes Michelle," Dean rolled his eyes before pulling away.

I was about to walk in when I heard someone whistle behind me. I quickly turned around to see Chris, my date and the captain of the football team.

"You look beautiful," he said as he walked up and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself," I blushed as I linked arms with him and we walked inside.

We walked into the gym and I was shocked how well they had decorated, I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. There were tables set up on either side of the dance floor with floor length maroon table clothes and gold fabric napkins at each spot, our school colors. The room was lit by strings of white lights that got turned off for awhile when the strobe light was put on. We danced for hours and during one of the slow songs Chris lifted my chin with his hand before kissing me. It certainly wasn't my first kiss but it was the first one that had given me butterflies. After a few more songs I excused myself to the bathroom and was about to come out of the stall when I heard some of the cheerleaders come in and start talking about Chris.

"Chris really out did himself this year," one of the girls said and I watched through the crack in the stall as they fixed their makeup.

"Who thought he could have done better than junior prom," another one laughed.

"Yeah especially since last year he took Melissa who had that awful stutter."

"Well he won the bet he definitely found a better charity case."

"Yeah I mean can you believe she actually lives in a motel and have you seen her hair tonight, please my five year old sister could do better than that."

"I guess that's what happens when you don't have a mom," one of the girls said before they finally left the bathroom.

I was usually pretty good at hiding my emotions but to hearing those cruel words broke down any barrier that I had. I walked back in the gym and saw Chris joking around with some of his teammates so I grabbed my jacket from the back of my chair and snuck outside. I thought about calling dean to come pick me up but figured Sam was probably sleeping by now and I didn't want to wake him so I called a cab even though the motel was only a few blocks away. By the time the cab showed up and dropped me off in front of the motel my face was a mess, my mascara had run down my cheeks and my eyes were puffy from crying. I sent up a silent thank you when I noticed the lights off in the motel room, I snuck in quietly so that I wouldn't wake anyone and almost jumped out of my skin when Dean spoke up.

"Didn't expect you to come home tonight," he teased as he sat at the small table in the dark.

"You should be in bed," I said softly trying to make sure my voice didn't break as I took my shoes off.

"Well that's the great thing about you going out, I don't have anyone to listen to," he said as he went to turn the light on.

"No," I said harshly before calming myself back down, "You might wake up Sammy."

"Please a bomb could go off and he wouldn't know anything until after the smoke cleared," Dean replied as he switched the light on anyway.

I quickly turned so my back was to him as I took a tissue and tried to wipe my makeup off.

"So did you have fun tonight?" he asked as he threw himself down on the bed next to a sleeping Sam.

"Yeah but I need to clean up before bed," I said nearly running to the bathroom, "Don't wait up."

"Ok…" Dean said confused but climbed under the covers anyway.

I gladly got out of my dress and spent a good ten minutes trying to find all the bobby pins in my hair before scrubbing the makeup off my face with a washcloth. I crept out of the bathroom and sighed in relief when I saw Dean actually listened and was in bed. I curled up in the bed closet to the door with my back to the boys as the tears started all over again.

"Shell?" I heard Dean call out but I knew I wouldn't be able to answer without my voice cracking so I just laid there and cried until I felt my bed dip and Dean roll me over, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied trying to wipe away my tears with the sleeve of the long sleeved shirt I was wearing.

"Oh Shell-shell," Dean sighed as he lay down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I hated crying in front of my brothers, I was the oldest I was the one that should be comforting them which is why they had only seen me cry a handful of times.

I finally gave in and told him everything that had happened and I could almost feel the anger radiating off of him as I continued. I eventually cried myself into a deep sleep and woke up with Sam staring at me.

"Something happened," Sam stated as I opened my eyes.

"What?" I questioned as I tried to sit up but was stopped by Dean's arm that was still draped over me.

"What happened?" Sam asked as I moved Dean's arm so I could get out of bed.

"Buddy I have no idea what you're talking about," I said rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Dean slept in your bed last night and I'm up before you, something happened," Sam replied as he pulled his shoes on.

"What time is it?" I asked rhetorically as I looked over to the clock and saw that it was seven am, "Shit!"

"So what happened?" Sam asked again.

"Nothing," I lied as I went over and pulled the covers off of an unsuspecting Dean, "Get up, we're going to be late!"

"Five more minutes," Dean groaned and rolled over.

"In five minutes we need to be out the door, GET UP!" I yelled as I pulled the first shirt and pair of pants I could find out of my duffle and ran to the bathroom to get dressed.

"Shelly, Dean isn't getting up," Sam yelled through the bathroom door.

"God you're a pain in the ass," I heard Dean grumble as I tried to quickly brush the curls out of my hair from the night before and threw my hair up in a pony tail before rushing out of the bathroom to see Dean sitting on the side of his bed tying his boots.

"Can you tie a little quicker we still need to drop Sammy off at middle school and the first bell rings in ten minutes," I said grabbing my backpack.

"That's the great thing about the middle school being on the opposite side of the parking lot to the high school," Dean said grabbing a few notebooks off the table and finally making his way out to the car.

"So…anyone going to tell me what happened?" Sam asked from the backseat as I swerved in and out of traffic towards his school.

"I told you nothing."

"Dean?" Sam asked in hope for more information.

"I had a nightmare," Dean told him and I couldn't help but look over to him shocked that not only did he keep my secret but that he lied to Sammy.

"You had a nightmare?" Sam asked in disbelief as I pulled into the parking lot for his school.

"Yeah about your face," Dean replied as Sam got out the car.

"Nice, De," I said rolling my eyes as I made my way to the back of the parking lot where the high school was located, "But thank you."

"For what?" Dean winked as I pulled into a parking spot.

"Here," I said tossing the keys over top of the car to him which he caught effortlessly, "seniors have a half day today I'll walk back to the motel."

"Nice," he nodded as he tucked the keys in his pocket and started walking away when he realized I wasn't following him, "You coming?"

"Yeah go ahead I forgot something in the car," I lied and luckily he believed.

I waited until he walked inside before I started my walk back to the motel room. I knew it was stupid but we would be leaving this town in the next few days anyways and honestly I didn't want to deal with pathetic looks I would have gotten as I walked down the hallway.

I spent all day snacking on chips, chocolate and pizza while watching daytime soap operas when I heard the familiar sound of the Impala pull into the parking lot.

"You're going to get in trouble," I heard Sam whisper as the door was unlocked and was curious on what was going on so I turned the television off and turned my full attention to them.

"What the hell happened?" I yelled as Dean walked in with a black eye and bloody knuckles.

"I tripped," he shrugged and I glared at Sam.

"He got in a fight," Sam said ratting him out.

"So much for keeping your mouth shut," Dean muttered.

"I'm not going to get in trouble," Sam said with his hands up.

"What happened?" I asked again this time with my hands on my hips.

"Chris and I had a little misunderstanding at school today," Dean said nonchalantly.

"Yeah but you should see Chris, I think Dean broke his nose," Sam said speaking up.

"You better put some ice on that," I sighed as I ran my thumb gently over his bruised cheek.

"That's it?!" Sam exclaimed, "Come on some kid tripped over my shoe and you made me clean the weapons for a month!"

"Thank you," I mouthed to Dean when Sam wasn't looking and he winked at me.


	4. History Repeats Itself

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Quick shout out to xoloveJBox who inspired me to write this, I know it's not really pre-series but it's been stuck in my head, hope you enjoy!**

**Please read and review!**

History Repeats Itself

Michelle-27

Dean-25

Sam-22

Dean and I picked up Sam from college to help us with a job over the weekend. We finished the case in Jericho after figuring out it was a woman in white and we were currently driving Sam back to his apartment in Palo Alto.

"You know we made a great team back there, kind of like old times," Dean commented as he drove my baby down the highway.

"Dean, don't start," I sighed from the backseat. Yes I said backseat; in my own car…Sam was just too freakishly tall to sit in the back anymore and I had planned on catching up on some sleep but of course with the two of them talking so much that wasn't going to happen.

"I told you I have an interview I can't miss, it's my whole future on a platter," Sam stated.

"I'm just saying maybe he should come with us to Blackwater Ridge," Dean tried. It was where my dad was sending us next as he took care of some ghouls in Ohio.

"Dean, we had a deal," I reminded him.

"Deal?" Sam questioned.

"I agreed to come and pick you up if he agreed to not beg you to stay."

"I'm not begging just…suggesting," Dean smirked.

"And I'm not suggesting, I'm promising I'll kick your ass if you don't knock it off," I nearly growled from the backseat.

"Can I watch, shorty?" Sam asked with a small laugh. Granted I wasn't the shortest thing in the world at 5' 7" but Dean was 5' 11" and Sam was an easy 6' 2" or close to it.

"Yeah I can still take you, sasquatch," I said shoving his shoulder.

"Now that is something I would like to see, Sam getting his ass kicked by a girl," Dean said as we turned onto the street Sam lived on.

"Don't worry I know Jessica keeps him in line," I said remembering back to the conversation her and I had the first time we met when I came to visit Sam.

"That's all I ever hear if I don't want to do something, 'I'll call Michelle,' like it's supposed to scare me or something," Sam said getting out of the car and grabbing his bag from the trunk.

Now came the time I hated the most, saying goodbye even if it was just for a little while.

"Alright, so make sure you dress nice for your interview and your ass better call me afterwards and tell me how awesome it went because they would be a fool not to accept you," I rambled as I leaned against the car.

"I'll miss you too Shell," Sam said pulling me into a hug.

"You know maybe I'll just run inside with you and say a quick hi to Jess," I said as he released his hold on me.

"Call her tomorrow, it's late and I'm sure she's already in bed."

"Which means Sam has been away for a few days and wants to get laid by his girlfriend," Dean laughed from the front seat.

"Fine," I sighed giving him one more hug.

"I'll call you soon," he promised before waving to Dean and walking across the street to his apartment building.

I watched until I couldn't see him anymore before walking to the driver's side of the car and pushing Dean over.

"God you're such a bitch," Dean mumbled as he slid over to the passenger seat.

"Then I guess I'm doing something right," I said as I started driving away.

"I thought you were too tired to drive," Dean said watching me suppress a yawn.

"I'm fine," I said running my hand across my face in an attempt to wake me up a little.

"Shell, it's…" Dean started as he looked at his watch, "It stopped."

I looked over to Dean before trying to turn on the radio but all that we got was static. My heart was in my throat as I did a u-turn and floored it back to Sam's apartment. I parked the car and noticed smoke coming out of the upstairs windows as I ran as fast as I could into the apartment building and up the stairs with Dean following close behind.

That apartment door was locked and I tried to kick it in but I couldn't get it to budge. Dean picked me up by my shoulders and moved me right before he gave the door a strong swift kick successfully breaking it down.

"Sam!" I screamed into the apartment as it started to fill with smoke, "Jessica!"

"Sammy!" Dean yelled.

That's when I heard Sam screaming from his bedroom, "Jess, no!"

Nothing could have prepared me for what we saw when we ran into his room. There was Jessica pinned to the ceiling and burning the same way my mother did over twenty two years ago.

"Dean, get him out of here," I yelled not taking my eyes off of Jessica.

"No, no, Jess!" Sam screamed as he fought against Dean to stay in the room.

"Dean, now!" I yelled taking my eyes off of Jess for a second to make sure Dean finally got him out of harm's way.

I don't know what I planned on doing but I had to try something. I tried to stand up on the bed and was going to try and pull her down but the flames were quickly growing and I almost burned my hands as I reached up. I knew I had been in the room too long when I started coughing and gasping for fresh air. I was about to leave when a fireman came in and threw me over his shoulder before carrying me out of the house. You could see the relief wash over Dean's face as the fireman set me down on the grass.

"Shell?" Sam asked hopefully.

I shook my head slightly, "I'm sorry, Sammy, I tried."

I just sat there and watched as Sam stormed off towards the car. After helping me up and making sure I was alright Dean went over to deal with the cops so we could get out of here. We got a motel room in the next town over so everyone could try and get some sleep but I knew it wasn't likely.

"I'm going to go shower," I said as I made my way to the bathroom hoping to get the smell of smoke off of me. I scrubbed for what seemed like hours but I knew was only minutes, I just couldn't get the burnt smell out of my nose. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted answers but I knew that would all have to wait until after I took care of Sam and made sure Dean was ok. He didn't remember much about the night our mom had died but he said in the past he remembered the fire and I knew tonight was going to get to him too.

As soon as I came out of the bathroom Dean went in and I watched as Sam lay on top of one of the beds with the tears freely falling. I sat down next to him and tried to comfort him but he pulled away from me.

"Sammy, please," I almost begged him.

"She's gone, Shell…she's gone," Sam sobbed.

"I know buddy," I said moving so his head could rest on my lap and this time he didn't pull away.

My heart completely broke when Sam clung to my legs looking for reassurance as his whole body shook from the cries coming out of him. For the first time in my life I didn't know how to comfort him so I started singing as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom let it be. Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be."

Dean had come out of the bathroom after I finished the chorus and leaned against the wall and with unshed tears in his eyes I knew he wouldn't let fall. It had been the first time I had sang that song since the night our mom passed away but it seemed to be calming Sam down so I continued.

"And when the broken hearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be, there will be an answer, let it be."

When I reached the chorus again I saw Dean's lips moving ever so slightly and that's when I realized the power that one song could have maybe this is just what we needed to get us through all of this. I finished the song as Sam's breathing evened out and the grip on my legs became loose. I sat there for a minute to make sure he had really fallen asleep before I carefully got off the bed and laid a pillow under his head. Looking at his tear streaked face I knew I had failed him.

I threw my jacket on and grabbed the keys off the table before turning to Dean, "I have my cell, call me if he wakes up."

"Where are you going?" he questioned and I could see the worry lines across his forehead.

"I'll be back," was all I answered before leaving the room.

I drove to the closest bar and ordered a double shot of whiskey. After a few more shots I realized I was no longer the protector I was supposed to be and I was no longer the twenty seven years old big sister. I was the five year old little girl who watched her mother burn to death on the ceiling. The look of terror on her face, the heat on my skin and the smell of the smoke all still engrained in my memory. I took out my cell phone and called the one person who I hoped would make it all better and give me the reassurance I gave to Sam.

"Hello?"

"Daddy, I'm scared."


	5. They Don't Understand

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Short little chapter but I didn't feel like it needed more. This was an idea I got from wandertogonder who has been a big help in all of my stories she is definitely my muse =)**

They Don't Understand

Michelle-11

Dean-8

Sam-6

It was the fourth day we had been cooped up in the run down motel room while my dad was out hunting. To top it off it was winter break at school so we had no escape and the boys were climbing the walls.

"Toons!" Sam yelled trying to grab the remote away from Dean who being two years older towered over him. I couldn't help but think maybe Sam would never hit his growth spurt.

"No way, the car show is on," Dean said holding the remote above his head so Sam couldn't reach it.

"But I want to watch toons!" Sam argued.

"Yeah, so?" Dean questioned turning the volume up to try and drown out Sam's whining.

"Guys, agree on something or I'm turning it off," I said as I sorted our laundry into three different piles; whites, darks and trash.

"You're not the boss of me," Dean smirked turning up the volume the highest it would go.

"You know what?" I asked as I walked over and snatched the remote out of his hand and turned the television off, "No one can watch it."

"You can't do that!" Sam yelled putting his hands on his hips like some drama queen.

"Actually I can, now I'm going to go throw the laundry in the wash down the hall, don't leave the room and don't kill each other," I said taking the remote with me as I grabbed our pile of dark clothes and a few quarters.

Luckily, dad had picked a motel with washers and dryers and our room was about 10 feet away from them. I know we weren't supposed to leave the room for anything but I figured laundry couldn't hurt. I purchased some soap, making sure not to use the one Sammy was allergic to, and started the machine praying that the blood from my first hunt would come out of my favorite pair of jeans. That was fun trying to explain to Sam why I had come home with blood all over and no injuries. Dad had started training with Dean but I was trying to keep Sam in the dark as long as possible, I mean you're only young once and I wanted him to have the childhood I never had.

I got back to the room and saw the television lying in a broken heap on the floor and before I could even form a thought Dean spoke up.

"He wanted to watch cartoons and I said no and he wouldn't listen and tackled me!" Dean exclaimed.

"I did not!" Sam argued, "You threw me into the dresser!"

"I was trying to get you off of me, you little jerk!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled at Sam, not that I was blaming the whole thing on him but fighting was so unlike him.

"That's what I would like to know," Dean added.

"I wanted to watch toons," he shrugged like what he had done was no big deal.

"Samuel Winchester!" I growled, "Go stand in the corner!"

I know not much of a punishment but I have never raised my hand to either brother for discipline that was my dad's solution.

"No," Sam said crossing his arms.

"What?" I questioned completely taken back that he was being defiant even Dean was looking at him like he was crazy.

"I said no," he stated before adding the part that threw a knife right through my heart, "you're not my mom."

"Sam!" Dean gasped in shock before turning to me for my response.

"No, I'm not but I am in charge while dad isn't here, now get in the corner," I said as firm as I could trying not to show how much what he had said hurt me.

It looked like Sam was going to continue to be difficult until Dean basically shoved him into the corner.

"Shell?" Dean questioned as he saw me staring at the broken television.

"I should go check o the laundry," I stated heading for the door.

"But you just put it in," Dean commented but I walked out the door and down the hall a few steps before I couldn't hold the tears in anymore.

I slid to the floor and pulled my knees into my chest and let it all out. I loved my brothers and would do anything for them but it wasn't fair, my dad should have been the one here dealing with all of this. I was supposed to be there older sister not a parent.

I stayed out of the room until it was time to put the laundry in the dryer. After switching adding a dryer sheet I walked back into the room to see Dean had put the television back on the dresser and was trying to shove the broken pieces random places around the room while Sam still stood in the corner.

I was about to say something when the phone rang once and stopped and then rang again letting us know it was dad calling.

"Hello?" I answered.

"I finished early, start packing I'm pulling into the parking lot."

"Yes sir," I replied before hanging up.

"Time to leave?" Sam asked quietly from the corner.

"Yeah, pack up," I answered and Dean obliged but Sam didn't budge, "Sam?"

"I'm sorry," he said softly avoiding my eyes.

"Come here," I said with my arms out and once he got close enough I pulled him into the tightest hug that I could.

"I'll listen from now on," he said as I released my hold on him and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh knowing that this would be the first of many arguments we would have.

Dad walked in looking exhausted and smelling like a bar but even with tired eyes he immediately saw the broken television.

"Does someone want to explain to me what happened?" he bellowed pointing to it.

"It was an accident," I spoke up.

"You did this?" Dad questioned turning his anger towards me.

Dean went to speak up but I answered first, "Yes."

In one swift movement he grabbed me by the arm and spun me around before giving me a hard smack on my backside. I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't scream out in pain but if it meant that Dean and Sam wouldn't get hit then I would take the blame every time.

"Dad," Dean spoke up.

"What?" Dad said in his gruff voice and I pleaded with Dean to just keep his mouth shut.

"We have clothes in the dryer."


	6. The Three Year Rule

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**This was inspired by Jenmm31's chapter in her pre-series story, check it out it is awesome!**

The Three Year Rule

Michelle-21

Dean-18

Sam-16

"Hey, can I borrow the car tonight?" Dean asked hopefully as he easily took apart the shotgun to clean it.

"For what?" I questioned, thinking of the guy I met at the bar the night before that I was supposed to go out with tonight, as Sam came through the motel room drenched in sweat from him run.

"I kind of have a date tonight," he said hesitantly and I knew exactly what that meant and apparently so did Sam.

"Which means he already told the girl he drives a '67 Impala and if he shows up without it he won't get any tonight," Sam smiled as he walked over to the mini-fridge and downed a bottle of water.

I however was still stuck on the _'get any'_ part. I mean don't get me wrong I'm not naïve I know he is eighteen years old and we basically pop ghosts for a living but there are some things that an older sister just doesn't need to hear or even want to think about. I must have had the deer in headlights look because Sam came over and waved his hand in front of my face.

"Earth to Shell."

I snapped out of my daze, "You are not having _sex_ in my car!"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Sam mumbled grabbing clean clothes out of his duffle.

"What?!" I nearly growled this was not the way I thought this conversation was going to go; I needed a drink…a very large, strong drink.

I looked to Dean for an explanation but all I saw was him giving a death glare to Sam.

"When the hell did you have sex in my car?!" I screamed at him unable to hide my shock and anger but he wouldn't answer me, "Dean Winchester, I swear to God…"

"Oh relax, it was three years ago," he finally answered trying to shrug it off.

"Three…three years ago…you had sex in my car at fifteen years old!? What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled taking a pillow off the bed and whacking him upside the head.

"Want me to list them alphabetically or numerically," Sam laughed but his smile fell when my eyes shifted over to him.

"You knew about this?!" I nearly screamed at Sam until I realized something and turned my anger back towards Dean, "You had sex in my car and told your thirteen year old brother?!"

"Well it's not like I was going to tell you!" Dean declared, "And what happened to the three year rule?"

The three year rule was something I had thought up when we were kids so they would feel like they could talk to me about anything and everything. The rule was if it happened three years ago I wasn't allowed to get mad at them.

"That doesn't apply; this is sex we are talking about! Please tell me you went to health class," I almost pleaded really not wanting to have _that_ talk with my brothers no matter how old they were.

"Yes I know all about the birds and the bees, Shell," Dean sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me," I yelled hitting him in the head again with the pillow, "Sex is a big deal, you can't just go sleep with whoever you want, whenever you want and you most certainly can NOT have sex in my car, like _ever_!"

"What do as I say not as I do?" Dean challenged with that stupid smirk.

"Excuse me?" I asked, not that I was ever one to hit either of my brothers but if he didn't shut up soon I was going to make sure he would never be able to smirk again.

"So, you can have sex in your car but I can't?" he asked clearly trying to push me over the edge.

"Yes! No!...That's different!" I argued.

"Yeah, I'm going to go shower," Sam said quickly retreating to the bathroom.

I had gotten so worked up that I started pacing back in forth in front of the beds. I raked a hand through my hair before deciding I was going to go meet my guy at the bar tonight. Normally, I would have forgotten any guy at the drop of a hat for my brothers but I was beyond pissed.

"Cancel your date," I said as I sifted through my bag for the lowest cut shirt I could find and the only jean skirt I owned.

"You're joking, right?" Dean laughed and I heard the shower turn off.

"No, I'm not," I stated as I went over and banged on the bathroom door so Sam would hurry up; I just wanted to get out of the room.

He opened the door wrapped in a towel, I pushed him out into the room and threw his clean clothes at him as I slammed the door and quickly got changed.

"Michelle, what the hell?" Dean growled as I walked out of the bathroom in a green halter top and a jean mini-skirt.

"I'm going out," was all I said as I grabbed my keys out of my jacket pocket and headed towards the bar when I had met Rob the night before.

He was waiting on a bar stool right where he said he would be, I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist before leaning forward and kissing the side of his neck.

"Well, hello to you too," he smiled spinning the stool around so I stood between his legs.

After a few drinks and a game of pool we went back out to the car and started making out in the front seat. He reached a hand over and started sliding it up my leg until it was under my skirt. It wasn't that I didn't like it because it felt so good but all I could hear in my head was the word _hypocrite_.

"Stop," I said pushing myself away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked confused on why I had pushed away.

"I can't do this, I'm sorry," I sighed using the back of my hand to wipe my mouth.

"Was it something I did?" he asked sweetly which made me feel that much worse.

"No, just please get out," I said unlocking the doors.

He got out and I drove back to the motel room blaring the radio in the car trying to clear my head before I walked back in but it didn't work.

"Have fun tonight?" Sam asked casually as I opened the door but his answer was me slamming it behind me.

"What happened?" Dean asked turning the television off ready to go fight whoever pissed me off.

"I hate you," I said tossing my keys at him, not putting any meaning behind it besides the fact I couldn't go do something I had told my brothers not to do.


	7. Michelle's Promise

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Got this idea from my good friend wandertogonder, I'll tell you if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have written so many stories, so send her virtual hugs!**

Michelle's Promise

Michelle-22

Dean-19

Sam-17

We were held up in some run down cabin in the middle of no where while we tried to track down a Wendigo that had been taking campers for 'snacks' as Dean so nicely put it. I had driven to the nearest town to load up on groceries, for what seemed like the eighth time that week, and as I pulled back up to the cabin I could hear the arguing from outside. I said a silent thank you that we were in the middle of no where and no one could call management on us like had happened a few months ago while in a motel room in Ohio.

It seemed that lately Sam and Dad would argue about anything under the sun. If Dad said yes Sam would say no, if Dad said short Sam said tall, if Dad said blue Sam said red and I for one was getting sick of trying to play mediator and I'm pretty sure Dean was too. It was causing friction between all of us because most of the time I sided with Sam and Dean sided with Dad, if this went on too much longer I was ready to willingly give myself to the damn Wendigo.

"You are _my_ son and I still make the rules," I heard Dad yell as I walked in the door with the groceries.

"What's it about this time?" I asked Dean quietly as I quickly put the cold stuff away so I could step in if I had to.

"Dad wants Sam to take the G.E.D. test so he can hunt full time," he explained taking a beer out of the case I had just bought.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. The one thing Dad and I had always agreed on was that they were both going to get their diplomas, or at least I thought.

"Stay out of it Shell," Dean warned as if reading my mind, "I got mine; Sam can pass it with no problem."

Dean was right last year he took it but only because he missed too many days of school to graduate and there was no way he was going to repeat senior year. It was his decision to take the test which is the only reason I went along with it to begin with.

"I'm only _your_ son when you want to control me; Michelle is the one that raised us!" Sam shouted standing up so that he was nose to nose with Dad.

"So much for staying out of it," I whispered to Dean who sighed loudly.

"Is that what you think?" Dad bellowed and the look he had in his eyes told me what was coming next, I had seen it and been on the receiving end way too many times.

"That's what I know," Sam nearly spat in his face.

"Enough!" I yelled trying to wedge my way between them, father or not no one hit my Sammy.

Some how Dad reached around me and grabbed Sam by the collar with one hand to keep him in place and used his other to hit him. I saw Dean get up from his spot from across the room to help me pull them apart but what I didn't see was Sam trying to hit my Dad back and unfortunately I got in the way. The blow to my face sent my flying to the floor and the force that was behind it was enough to split my lip open.

"Oh God, Shell," Sam breathed out staring at me in shock as I sat on the floor with my hand to my mouth.

"Look what you did!" Dad hollered and went to take another swing at Sam but he moved out of the way just in time.

"God damn it, stop!" Dean yelled coming over to help me off the floor using his thumb to wipe away some blood that had run down my chin, "You alright?"

"Fine," I lied as the pounding in my head started, _I'm used to being a punching bag_, I added silently. Although it was the first and only time Sam ever hit me, even by mistake.

I didn't even notice that my Dad had left the room until I heard the truck start up and peel out of the gravel driveway probably off to the closest bar.

"I'm going to go lay down," I said softly as I shuffled toward my bedroom, that was the only good thing about not being in a motel, I got my own room.

"What's today's date?" Dean asked grabbing my arm lightly stopping me from walking away.

"I don't have a concussion, Dean and I'm not going to sleep I'm just going to lie down," I sighed trying to walk away again but he kept a hold on me.

"What is the date?" he asked and I knew he wouldn't let me go until I told him.

"May 17th," I said pulling my arm out of his grasp, "Now for the last time, I'm going to my room."

I walked the few feet to my room, quietly closed the door behind me and buried my head in my pillows trying to stop the drummer that seemed to have taken up shop in my head. I don't think I was even in there five minutes before I heard the hinges on my door squeak.

"Dean, I told you I'm…" I started as I rolled over to look at him but stopped when I saw Sam standing there looking guilty as all hell.

"Peace offering," he said softly handing me a few aspirin and a glass of water which I gladly took before handing over a bag of peas wrapped in a t-shirt to put on my mouth, "Shelly, I'm so sorry."

"I'm not mad at you," I said patting the bed next to me telling him to sit but he didn't move, "Sam, I'm not going to bite you, sit down."

He finally sat down but as far away from me as he could, he wouldn't even look at me.

"Sammy, did you mean to hit me?" I asked moving so my legs crossed under me and I could look at him straight on.

"Of course not!" he exclaimed turning to look me in the eyes.

"Then why would I be upset you?" I questioned putting my hand on his arm, "It was just a mistake."

"I shouldn't have even swung…he just…ugh he makes me so mad my blood boils! I don't want to take the stupid test, I want to graduate, I want to go to college, I want to get away as far away from this life as I can and never look back!" he ranted and I just sat and listened as he got it all off his chest.

"So, what's the problem?"

"The problem?" Sam declared loudly and I winced a little, he must have noticed because he lowered his voice as he continued, "The problem is that Dad will never let me do any of those things and I'm going to be stuck in this life forever."

"Where do you want to go to college?" I asked curiously.

"What?" he questioned looking at me like I had six heads, "Did you not just hear everything I said?"

"Sam, do you really want out of this life?" I asked with no anger behind the words whatsoever.

"Yeah," he nodded, "There's nothing that I want more."

"Then graduate and apply to college," I said simply.

"You make it sound so easy," he said with a small laugh, "Are you sure you don't have a concussion? Did you just miss the whole argument Dad and I had?"

"Have I ever broken a promise to you?" I asked ignoring his question.

"No, 'Winchesters don't break promises' but…" he started until I cut him off.

"Then follow your dreams, I promise you Sammy, if this is really what you want then I'll take you to college myself."

"Dad isn't going to let me just walk out the front door," Sam said shaking his head.

"I'll handle Dad, you worry about writing all those amazing essays for your applications," I said shifting so I could lie down, "Now come lay with me until I fall asleep."

"Dean said…" Sam started and I cut him off yet again.

"You going to listen to Dean or me?" I questioned giving him a look that said to chose his answer carefully.

"Fine but when he yells at me you're taking the blame," Sam said laying down next to me and throwing his arm over me.

"Of course."

I was almost asleep when Sam broke the silence.

"Hey Shell?"

"Mmm…" I mumbled already half asleep.

"Thank you."


	8. Sam's Departure

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

Sam's Departure

Michelle-23

Dean-20

Sam-18

I walked into our motel room we were calling home for the time being to see Sam and Dean clinking beer bottles.

"Come on guys," I sighed throwing my keys on the table, "Can't you at least wait until after lunch to start drinking?"

"College boys drink all the time," Dean smirked taking a long swig from his bottle.

"Yeah but you're not a college boy, now are you?" I questioned not catching on to what he was saying until I looked at the huge grin on Sam's face, "You got in?!"

Sam nodded excitedly, "Stanford, here I come."

"Ahh, I knew you could do it!" I squealed as I jumped into his arms and he spun me around in a circle, "Alright, sasquatch put me down," I laughed as my feet dangled off the floor.

"I had them send any letters to the school because I didn't know where we would be but there was some mix up with the mail so I just got it today even though I should have gotten it like three weeks ago but I mean I can't really complain because I'm got in…" Sam rambled like he always did when he was overjoyed by something.

"Breathe Sam, you know it's ok to take a breath every once in awhile," Dean teased as I sat on the bed next to him, grabbing the beer out of his hand and taking a sip, "What happened to no drinks before lunch, huh?"

"Thought we were celebrating," I shrugged handing it back.

"Why couldn't you have gotten your own?" Dean whined as he wiped the top of the bottle with his sleeve like I had some how contaminated it.

"Because hearing you complain just makes my day," I said pinching his cheek to further annoy him before turning my attention back to Sam, "So, when do you have to leave by?"

"That's the thing," he started and I saw him shift his weight on his feet something he always did when he was unsure of how to say something.

"What did you miss orientation or something?" I questioned trying to figure out what was going on, I didn't however hear the door open and my dad walk in or I never would have asked the question in the first place.

"Orientation for what?" Dad asked casually.

I wanted to answer first to hopefully put the heat on me instead but Sam took a step forward and handed Dad the letter.

As he quickly read over it I whispered in Dean's ear, "No matter what happens, just remember I'll be back, I promise."

He looked at me with confusion on his face but before he could ask what I was talking about Dad spoke up.

"You're not going," he stated folding the letter back up and I knew that was going to be the last calm thing he said today.

"Yes he is," I said standing up from the bed.

"Excuse me?" Dad asked taking a step closer to me and putting his hand up to his ear as if he heard me wrong.

"I said, he is going," I repeated crossing my arms preparing for the fight that was about to start.

Dad stood there staring at me for a second before looking over to Sam and then back to me before busting out laughing to the point he almost had tears coming out of his eyes.

"It's not a joke," Sam clarified softly.

"Sam," Dad shook his head, "I didn't let Michelle leave when she got accepted and Dean knew better than to apply, so please tell me why you think I would let you go?"

I could feel the gazes of my brothers shift to me with shock. It was true I had applied to college after high school and I had even thought for a brief moment of going, to have the normal life that I had always wanted, but when I came back to the motel that night and saw Sam sick in bed I knew I could never leave them.

"I chose to stay, you had no say in the matter," I said taking a slight step to the right so I put myself in the middle of Sam and Dad, "And you have no say in whether he goes or not."

"Wanna bet?" Dad asked ripping up the letter and throwing it at Sam.

"Sam, grab your bag we're leaving," I told him without taking my eyes off of my father.

"You aren't going anywhere," Dad hollered as Sam threw his duffle over his shoulder.

Now the only problem was actually getting to my car keys on the table and getting past Dad that stood between us and the door.

"Come on, let's go," I said taking a few steps forward. Before I even knew what was happening Dad had me pinned to the wall by his forearm and the smell of alcohol rolled off his breath.

"I'm still the parent around here, God damn it and I said no!" Dad screamed in my face as Dean tried desperately to pull him off of me.

"Stop being so fucking dramatic, it's college, you should be proud of him," I yelled back not caring anymore what happened to me.

"Proud? Of what? He is abandoning this family!" Dad bellowed as Dean finally pulled him back enough so I could move away from him. All the years of frustration and hatred towards the way he treated us, the way he treated me, had finally come to a head and I was done.

"Kind of like you did the second mom died," I stated snatching my keys off the table, "You had three kids who needed the only parent they had left but getting revenge on the damn demon was more important, so we grew up in run down motel rooms with second hand clothes and whatever the special of the day was at whatever gas station you decided to pass through before dropping us off in the motel room so you could go drink away her memory! I was more an adult at five years old than you have been the past eighteen years! I was the one who raised them, I took care of them when they were sick, I am the one they came to when they were scared or hurt or had a problem at school, I'm the one that potty trained Sam, I'm the one who taught them to tie their shoes, and to drive and you know what? I would do it all again in a heart beat because they deserve everything the world has to give them and more and I'll be damned if they don't get it," I finished with my hand on the door and Sam standing next to me.

"You walk out that door, don't even think about coming back," Dad threatened.

"Goodbye Dad," Sam said and followed me out to the Impala.

My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest and my hands shook with anger as we pulled out of the parking lot and towards the highway. It felt so good to get that out after so many years of wanting to give him a piece of my mind.

"Shell," Sam started breaking the silence we had fallen into since we left the motel room, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you go?" he asked but when I didn't answer he continued, "You could have gotten away five years ago, you could have been graduated and starting a family of your own right now."

"You are my family, buddy," I smiled and turned the music up.

It took us two days to get to California and the way Sam's face lit up when we pulled up to the campus entrance made everything we had been through completely worth it. We got him registered for classes and I took the list of books he needed while he went to get his room assignment. After getting some help from a few students in the book store I had finally gotten everything on the list and sat on a bench outside to wait for Sam. I gave Dean a quick call to make sure everything was alright and to reassure him again that I would be back as soon as I got Sam settled, a few sarcastic comments later and we were saying goodbye. I sat there and just people watched; off to my left a couple of girls were hugging each other and trying to decide who had the best summer vacation, off to my right was a group of guys discussing the morals of world and straight in front of me, in the middle of it all, was my Sammy getting the normal life I had always wanted.

"So, I'm in the Franklin building, third floor, room 314 and my roommate's name is Zack," Sam informed me reading off a piece of paper that the office had given him.

"Is he cute?" I asked trying to keep a straight face.

"What?" Sam questioned.

"I mean I would probably visit more if you had a hot roommate," I shrugged before not being able to stop myself from laughing.

"Ha-ha very funny," Sam mocked.

"Well grab your books," I said pointing to the large bag by my feet, "I think they weigh more than Dean."

We walked around campus so he would know where all the buildings were and we went to his dorm room so I could line the windows with salt and pull up the worn carpet so I could draw a devils trap before shoving it back in place. Now came the time I was dreading, saying goodbye.

"Alright, you've got all your books and you've got your phone so you better be checking in unless you want me to barge into one of your classes because let's face it I've already made a copy of your schedule," I said as I straightened out the collar on his shirt just like I had on his first day to school, "And I know you will study your ass off but don't forget to have fun and go out but be safe and don't take drinks from people you don't know and…"

"I'll miss you," Sam said cutting me off and engulfing me in a bear hug that once again lifted my feet off the ground.

"I'll miss you too, Sammy," I sniffling back a few tears, "Alright, put the short person down."

He put me down and I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading to the door.

"Good…" Sam started but I put my hand up.

"It's not goodbye, buddy, I'll see you soon."

I called Dean again when I got in the car and apparently Dad had found a new case in Utah. After eighteen hours on the road, and five cups of coffee later I pulled into the motel parking lot they were calling home for the time being. I knocked on the door and Dean answered.

"I didn't actually think you would be back," he admitted softly as he fully opened the door so I could walk in.

"Michelle," Dad nodded acknowledging me as Dean shut the door.

I however didn't answer instead I threw my bag down on one of the beds before walking over to the mini fridge to see what alcohol we had.

"Seashell," Dad sighed, "About what was said before…I know I should have done things differently. The boys had you to turn to but you didn't have anyone and I'm sorry I should have been the one teaching you things."

"Don't worry you did teach me something," I said taking the top off the whiskey and putting the bottle to my lips.


	9. Not Wonder Woman

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know!**

*****Make sure you head on over to wandertogondor's page and check out the new sisfic we are writing together, 'You Don't Know the Meaning of Fear'. You can also find it under my favorites*****

**Got an idea from Jenmm31 and Hanna West so I molded them together and came up with this with the help of my friend Realwinchestergirl95, hope you enjoy! I know in past chapters I have painted John to be a real jackass so I thought it was time he was actually caring!**

Not Wonder Woman

Michelle-20

Dean-17

Sam-15

"I'll be back in a couple hours, I just got on the road," I told Dean as I held my cell phone in between my ear and my shoulder.

"How'd it go?" he asked referring to the salt and burn that my Dad sent me on but I knew what he was really asking me, he was asking if I was still in one piece, something he always did when I went on a hunt by myself.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" I replied not directly answering his question and he quickly picked up on it.

"How bad?" he asked with a tone that told me he knew I was lying.

"I'm fine, Dean," I lied and tried to change the subject, "Did Sammy get his homework done, I know he has a science test on Wednesday he has to study for and a math test on Friday."

"Michelle," Dean growled into the phone and it never ceased to amaze me how my younger brother could pull information out of me.

I glanced at my already forming black eyes in the rearview mirror, "Well, I'll look like a raccoon tomorrow but other than that just a few scratches," I answered turning back to watch the road.

"You sure?" he asked not believing me.

"Yes, Dean," I sighed.

"Alright, well I'll call Dad and let him know you're on your way back, he went into town to find some food," he said dropping the fact that he still didn't believe that I was as totally ok as I claimed to be.

"Don't forget to have Sam do his homework!" I yelled into the phone but when I got no answer I looked down and saw I had been disconnected. I thought he had hung up on me but when I tried to call back I realized I had driven through a dead zone and no longer had service. Figures.

I was literally running on fumes, making sure the boys had breakfast, lunch and dinner, school work was completed, and that they kept up with their training. Then of course, I had research to do for my dad's case and my own he had sent me on. I was beyond exhausted and the caffeine I had stopped to get wasn't helping.

I turned the radio on and the song 'To Be With You' by Mr. Big blasted through the speakers in hopes of keeping myself awake.

"Hold on little girl, show me what he's done to you. Stand up little girl a broken heart can't be that bad. When it's through, it's through fate will twist the both of you," I sang along to the music getting lost in the words that always seemed to put me in a good mood.

Before the song even ended I could feel my eyes drooping and I still had a good two hours before I would get back to the motel. I rolled down the window letting the cool night air blow through my hair. It worked but only for a minute as my head started to bob. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I heard the blaring of a horn and the headlights from a semi truck coming right at me. I jerked the wheel to the right to get back into my own lane and hit a patch of black ice spinning the car. I tried to correct it the way Dad had taught me but my reactions weren't as quick as they should have been and the car slammed into a tree, hard. That was the last thing I remembered.

When I came too I heard my cell phone ringing and the sound hurt my ears. I went to reach for it and saw blood drip onto my hand I did everything I could not to panic. I reached my hand up and felt a large gash on the side of my head where my head had hit the steering wheel. I grabbed my phone and called for help.

"Michelle?" Dad answered after it rang only once.

"Daddy?" I cried, not caring that I sounded like a little kid again. I was alone on the side of the road at night and Winchester or not I was scared out of my mind.

**Dean's Point of View**

"Something's not right," I mumbled as I called Shell for the third time, every time it would ring many times before going to voicemail. It didn't matter if she was in the middle of a hunt or in the middle of the desert she always answered her phone as soon as she heard it ringing.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked popping the top to one of the beers he had picked up when he was out.

"I talked to Shell like three and a half hours ago, she should be back by now," I answered trying to hide the worry in my voice but it slipped through a little. Michelle was never late for anything in her life and I couldn't get the feeling out of the pit of my stomach that something horrific had happened. Even though we weren't twins sometimes it felt like we had twin telepathy, like we always knew what was going on with each other, and this was one of those times.

That's when I heard Dad's phone ringing and his face go pale before quickly pulling his boots on.

"What's going on?" Sam questioned also picking up on the look of fear on my dad's face. Without being told to and without being told what was going on Sam and I quickly pulled our boots and jackets on too.

"There's been an accident, we need to go," Dad said basically pushing us out the door and into the truck.

**Michelle's Point of View**

Dean had called to talk to me, trying to keep me awake and conscious until they got there but the call only lasted ten minutes before the battery on my phone was dead. I knew I had to use something to put pressure on my head and grabbed a couple of napkins I had in the glove box. I laid down in the front seat trying to calm myself down, because getting worked up was the last thing I needed right now. Luckily, the radio still worked and I tried to concentrate on the words. At first I tried humming along but quickly gave up when concentration on the song became too hard.

I was completely zoned out when I heard the familiar sound of my dad's truck rumbling down the road and coming to a screeching halt right beside my car.

"Michelle!" I heard Dean call out frantically. I could hear the sound of their boots slapping against the pavement as they ran up to the Impala.

Sam opened the passenger side door with such force I thought he was going to pull the door off, "Oh God, Shell…"

"I'm ok, buddy," I said through a forced smile, not sure whether I was trying to convince him or myself. As a wave of nausea hit me so hard I sat up and I had to throw open the driver's side door before I vomited in the car.

"Shit," I heard Dean mumbled as I finished emptying the contents of my stomach on the pavement.

I hated crying in front of either of my brothers, and I especially hated for them to see me sick or hurt. I was their rock and I never wanted them to see me broken but the concussion wasn't letting me think clearly as I started sobbing uncontrollably on the side of the road. Everything hurt, my head, my eyes. Everything. But that's not what I was thinking about as I sobbed on the side of the road right next to the Impala.

"Ok, baby, it's ok," Dad said putting one arm under my knees and one on my back as he easily lifted me into his arms, "you're going to be ok," he reassured me, holding me tight to his chest.

"I'm sorry, daddy, I'm so sorry," I cried into his jacket holding onto his collar for dear life, "I wrecked the car, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean too…I'll fix it, I promise, I'll fix it…I'm so sorry I wrecked the car." I was going to continue telling him how sorry I was but the sobs choked up in my throat and wouldn't let me.

"Hey, listen to me," Dad said setting me down in the cab of the truck and taking my face in his hands to get my full attention, "the car isn't nearly as important as you are, you hear me?" He tried to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks clearing away some of the dried blood that was on my face but stopped as more tears filled my eyes by the second.

"But I wrecked the car…I'm so sorry," I continued to cry not being able to process what he was saying. Everything was really fuzzy, his voice sounded so far away and it was hard to concentrate.

"Michelle, look at me," Dad said in a strong but firm voice, "I don't care about the car. I care about you more than anything in the whole world. And right now I just care that you are ok, not the damn car." I could see the worry in his eyes, worry like I had never seen before.

"Dad, is she going to be alright?" Sam questioned softly as he stood a few feet behind my dad while Dean checked the car to see if it was still drivable glancing back at me every few seconds.

"Yeah, she's going to be fine," Dad promised his deep brown eyes never leaving my face as he leaned in and kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear, "I love you, my little seashell."

At some point I was put into the front seat of my Dad's truck with Sam sitting to the right of me, leaving Dean to drive the Impala back to the motel after Dad gave it the final once over deciding it would be safe to drive. I tried my best not to lean on Sam as he played twenty questions all the way back to the motel to keep me awake. He was asking questions like; Who was the sixteenth president? Was he re-elected? Was he assassinated? Spell assassinated. What's the fifth planet from the sun? Does Jupiter have any moons? Spell truck. Then he started questioning me on philosophy and other stuff I wouldn't even have the answers to if I was completely with it and had studied the night before. Sam definitely had the brains of the family but I tried my best to answer every question he gave me and when I got it wrong he would sit there for a second and stare at me probably having some internal debate whether I would actually know the answer or not. A few times I saw Dad shake his head probably feeling a little out of his league by some of the things that came out of Sam's mouth. I wanted nothing more then to curl up into one of the beds in our motel room and sleep until my next birthday but I knew that none of them would let me go to sleep without giving me a good once over…maybe even two.

When we finally made it back to the motel I was beyond tired to the point where I wouldn't have even make it to the door of our room. Dean using his twin telepathy got right out of the Impala, moved Sam out of the way and pulled me into his arms before I could even give it a second thought.

Sam walked ahead of us to open the door as Dad grabbed the first aid kit from the bed of the truck. Dean set me down on a chair next to the small table in the room and immediately pulled one over so he could sit right next me, never letting go of my hand. Dad sat across from me and started to sterilize the gash on the side of my head. It was making me dizzy and I kept nodding off but every time I did Dean would squeeze my hand and shake it gently bringing me back to reality. Sam handed me a bottle of water and not being completely coherent I put it to my lips to take a big gulp but with my throat being so dry I almost choked on it.

"Ok, ok, ok," Dean said calmly taking the bottle from my hand and waiting until I stopped coughing before putting it back to my lips and pouring a very small amount into my mouth, "small sips."

"Can I go to sleep now?" I practically begged. Dad eyed me and I could tell he was doing the math between now and when I had last thrown up which was about an hour and a half ago. He had to pull the truck to the side of the road and I almost threw up all over Sam because he wasn't quick enough opening the door.

"Yeah, I suppose. But one of us are going to be waking you up every couple of hours to see how you're doing," he replied as he put the last piece of tape on my bandage. I went to stand up but Dean quickly took me back in his arms and laid me down in one of the beds.

"Oh, such service," I tried to joke as he carefully laid me down on the bed and pulled the covers over me.

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it," he smirked and slightly rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I answered falling into a peaceful sleep knowing that my family, my three guys, were watching over me.


	10. How much is that Puppy in the Window?

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**I know it's not very long but hopefully you'll enjoy!**

How much is that puppy in the window?

Michelle-10

Dean-8

Sam-6

"So, what did you do in school today?" I asked Sam who was holding my hand as we walked back to the motel with Dean on the other side of him.

We were stuck in another small town where everyone knew everyone and we were quickly marked 'the new kids' but we were used to it by now; we were always the new kids.

"We learned about animals," Sam answered excitedly, "All different kinds too, like what animals are in the jungle and what ones are on a farm and what ones people keep as pets."

"Oh, so you learned you're our pet," Dean teased and I reached over Sam's head to hit him in the shoulder, "Oh, relax it was just a joke."

"Shelly, can we get a puppy?" Sam asked innocently looking up at me with eyes that was hard to say no to.

"A puppy is a lot of work buddy," I tried to explain not wanting to tell him that the backseat of a car was no place for a dog.

"But I know I can take care of it," he begged as I unlocked the door to the motel room and let them walk in first before turning and relocking it once we were inside.

"Dad isn't going to let you have a pet," Dean spoke up in a serious tone but I knew he was just trying to help.

"So?" Sam questioned before looking back at me, "we can keep him hidden somewhere. Please, Shelly, I won't ask for anything ever again, I promise."

"Dean's right, Sammy, dad isn't going to let you keep a puppy dog, it's just too much work but maybe someday when you're older you can get one," I tried but he wasn't having it, boy could this kid pull at your heart strings.

"I never get to have anything like the normal kids!" he screamed before throwing himself down on the bed and crying into the pillow.

He laid there for about fifteen minutes sobbing into the pillow before he cried himself to sleep. I told Dean I was going to go grab dinner and while I was out I picked up a stuffed golden lab that had a green bow around its neck.

When I got back in the room I tucked the dog next to Sam on the bed and watched as Dean tried to hide the smile on his face as he flipped through the television channels.

Little did I know that eighteen years later, Sam still had that stuffed dog shoved at the bottom on his duffle. Green bow still around its neck though very worn and only being held on by a few stands, he was missing an eye and the fur was very dirty and faded but he carried it with him everywhere as a hope that one day he would have the normal life he so desperately craved.


	11. Broken

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Big thanks to wandertogondor who helped me with this chapter, seriously don't know what I would do without that girl!**

Broken

Michelle-27

Dean-25

Sam-22

Three weeks had passed since Jessica's untimely death. I spent my nights lying awake next to Sam running my hands through his hair like I used to when we were younger in hopes of calming his reoccurring nightmares. I spent my days searching for any signs or traces the demon left behind in hopes that once it was finally gone from existence it would stop wreaking havoc on my family.

Hope was all I had, as Sam's nightmares got worse every night and I had no idea where the demon had gone or why. Someone once told me that hope wasn't just any ordinary word but an acronym standing for; hold on pain ends. I could do nothing but pray that they were right.

Sam had gone in to take a shower and I was going to go grab us some dinner but since I hadn't been sleeping Dean insisted on driving claiming he didn't want me falling asleep behind the wheel again before adding a comment that one broken Winchester was more than enough to handle at a time. I nodded somewhat hesitantly and handed my keys over thinking I should stay with Sam so he wouldn't be alone but Dean basically pushed me out the door, promising me that our twenty-two year old brother would be alright for twenty minutes or so by himself.

I walked back in the motel room laughing for the first time in what felt like ages, Dean telling me some joke about a minister, a rabbi and a goat but my laughter stopped and smile fell when I saw Sam sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the broken wall clock on the floor. He was bent over with elbows on his knees, his hair still wet from his shower but it was his shaking hands that sent up red flags for me.

"Sam?" I called out quietly not understanding what had happened. My normally poised little brother, who took whatever the world had to dish out at him with a grain of salt, was lashing out and that unnerved me to no end. Dean put the food we got on the table and watched intently from where he stood wanting to give us as much privacy as the small motel room would allow, "Sammy?"

"The ticking noise was driving me insane, like it was just mocking me," he started quietly still staring at the broken pieces on the floor, "time is going on without her, and I'm going on without her and it isn't right…it isn't fair and I don't know how to stop it."

I carefully walked over and sat next to him on the bed putting one hand gently on his back and the other resting on his knee, if nothing more than to show he wasn't alone. He didn't talk about what had happened, no matter how many times I had tried and besides the first night he hadn't broken down again, at least not in front of us, until now.

"I'm falling apart, Shell," he started crying silently at first and then his whole body started to tremble with the sobs that were escaping him. I pulled him into my shoulder letting him just cry and get it all out, for the millionth time since her death I felt I had failed him as an older sister, as someone who should have been protecting him. "Every time I close my eyes I see her and it's like I don't know how to breathe without her."

"Listen to me, take a deep breath," I told him as he hiccupped through the tears and I ran a hand up and down his back, "I know it's hard right now but it will get better you just need to hold on."

"I don't know how…I feel like I've lost my way," he sobbed wrapping his arms around me waiting for me to take away the pain he was going through.

"Sam, you're never lost when you're with us," Dean soothingly spoke up walking over and setting a hand on Sam's shoulder as he stood in front of us.

"He's right buddy," I added sending Dean a silent thank you with my eyes that he was trying to help me calm Sam down, "and you will always have us no matter what, right Dean?"

"Absolutely," Dean nodded.

Sam and I sat there holding on to each other until Sam finally cried himself to sleep. With Dean's help we moved him up in the bed and covered him with a blanket both silently praying he would have uninterrupted slumber for once. I made my way over to the groceries we bought and started picking at the cold food.

"You alright?" Dean questioned handing me a beer while grabbing one for himself.

I ran a hand over my face in defeat and admitted, "No, and I won't be until he is…but we've spent the last few weeks here and we have no leads, I think it's time for us to move on to the next town."

"He's not going to go willingly," Dean stated skewering some of my food with the end of his fork.

"Well, we can't stay here anymore, Dean. All these sleepless nights aren't going to help him get any better. We need to get him some air," I resounded; my youngest brother's welfare being the only thing filling my mind.

Dean scrubbed his hand across his jaw, silently nodding in agreement. "How about we head out in the morning? We can bunk down here for the night, get hot showers in the morning, some hot grub in our stomachs, and then we can go to…I don't know, Bethany Beach."

"Delaware, Dean?" I questioned skeptically, looking up from resting my face in my lower arm.

"Delaware, Shell," he repeated with conviction, pulling up a chair and sitting beside me, "it's as far across the spectrum we can get from California without running head first into the Queen's Royal Moose. Or is it meese?" He asked scrunching his face up trying to remember.

"You got it right the first time," I cracked a smile, glancing over at Sam and let out a breath of relief when the tossing and turning hadn't made its appearance yet. "He's right, Dean. He's breaking. What happened to Jess…the whole thought of it is killing him slowly. It's eating him from the inside out and I would give anything and everything to make him better again…I just…I don't know what to do to help him this time," I confessed with a deep sigh.

"The only thing we can do for him now is get him as far away as we can and stay strong for his sake," Dean encouragingly rubbed my back, forcing a hopeful smile while taking another forkful of my food.

"Jess," Sam whimpered from the bed, curling up against the pillow, his fists clenched and his limbs flailing. I ran to his side, trying with all my might to calm him down.

"Sam! Sammy!" I shook his shoulders, reluctantly trying to bring him from his nightmare, "Come on, buddy."

He started to settle down, slowly and unsurely. His body was tense and his breath still restless but his closed eyelids were more at ease. I climbed in the bed beside him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and braced myself for another night of trying to hold back my own tears.

"I can sit with him," Dean offered quietly after a few minutes, "you need to sleep too."

"No," I waved him off and rested my head against Sam's, "I need to do this…if nothing else, I can do this."


	12. The Deal

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**So I know I usually do different ages but this one is going to be a continuation of the last chapter. It was inspired by the last line in chapter 5 of the story wandertogondor and I are writing, if you haven't already done so, hop on over to her page and check out 'You Don't Know the Meaning of Fear' and while you are there read her other stories because they are gold! I have been asked by a few people to do an episode chapter with Michelle in it so I will for the next one, I promise! :)**

The Deal

Michelle-27

Dean-25

Sam-22

To say Sam fought us tooth and nail about leaving Palo Alto would be putting it mildly. It was one of the few times Dean and Sam had physically fought where I was actually worried one of them were going to get hurt but instead of stepping in and playing referee like I usually did I took that opportunity of them being distracted to slip out the motel room, get in the Impala and drive away.

I drove until I found a crossroads which surprisingly took quite some time but I was determined not to go back to that motel room until I had done everything in my power to take away the pain that was taking away the Sammy I loved. I ripped the corner off one of the many fake ID's we had and put the rest of the items I needed inside a Batman lunch box I had picked up at the local convenient store. Just as the last bit of soil had covered the box I turned to see a man leaning against the side of the Impala.

"Well, well, well, I never thought I would live to see the day a Winchester would be here willing to deal," he smirked crossing his arms over his chest, "but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit curious as to what you want from me."

"I want to make a deal," I stated confidently, the thought never occurring to me that I could be in any danger.

"Then you came to the right place."

"I want you to bring Jessica back," I said taking a tentative step forward and stuffing my hands in my back pockets, "and in enchange, I get ten years."

He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes as he got off the car and took a step towards me closing the distance between us, "tempting, really it is, but seeing as you're a Winchester ten years is just a little too steep for my liking."

"Five," I countered, willing to give my last breath right now if that's what it took, "Give me five years to see them get married and God willing be an aunt and then I'm all yours."

"Hmm," he tapped his finger on his chin thinking over the offer but I didn't want to waste anymore time and suddenly smashed my lips against his to seal the deal. "Well, Michelle, if I didn't know any better I would think you wanted me."

"Good thing you know better," I replied wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"It is done," he stated before disappearing.

Five years, two hundred and sixty weeks, one thousand eight hundred and twenty five days is what it cost to be able to see Sam smile again, to see him get everything out of life he ever dreamed of and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. The speed at which I drove back to the motel room was indescribable as I weaved in and out of traffic before throwing the car in park and running into the motel room making both brothers jump slightly.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked urgently, thinking someone was after me as I leaned against the wall to catch my breath.

"Absolutely nothing," I smiled earning confused looks from both of them until Sam's phone started ringing.

He walked over and looked at the caller ID before throwing the phone across the room and into the wall smashing it into a million pieces.

"Sam?" Dean questioned.

"It can't be," Sam whispered shaking his head.

"I think it can," I spoke up and pulled out my own phone to call her back, both brothers watching closely as I had a short conversation before hanging up.

"Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?" Dean asked looking between Sam and me.

"Come on, we have someone to go meet," was all I answered and watched them slowly pull their boots and jackets on.

I drove to the park that was a few blocks away from Sam's old apartment and parked the car in view of the bench where there was a woman with long blonde hair sitting, waiting for us.

"J-J-Jess?" Sam stuttered out seeing her from the car.

"But it can't be," Dean argued getting ready to go attack whatever supernatural being was taunting our younger brother but I put my hand on his arm stopping him from getting out of the car.

"Go on Sammy," I smiled watching the light come back in his eyes, something I thought I would never see again.

"How?" he questioned not once taking his eyes off her hair as the wind gently blew threw it.

"Don't worry about it, buddy, just go be happy," I replied.

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before running out of the car and towards his first and only love. I watched in awe as he picked her up and spun her around, their laughter mixing together to make the sweetest sound you could imagine, and the smiles on their faces causing my heart to swell with happiness.

"What did you do?" Dean demanded but when I didn't answer he grabbed my chin lightly so I had no choice but to look at him, "Shell, what the hell did you do?"

"I did my job as an older sister."

"What did it cost you, huh?" Dean asked loudly releasing my chin, "Ten years and then what, we have to live without you? How do you think he's going to deal with that?"

"I think he's going to be fine," I answered watching them walk hand and hand down the sidewalk.

Dean could yell all he wanted and I knew the moment my father heard he would have a million things to say as well but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. The smiles on their faces told me everything I needed to know, they were in love, happy and going to help each other through any trial or tribulation that they came across. I raised him, loved him and will always cherish the memories we had together but it was his time to fly with his own wings. I could only hope I could see Dean just as happy before my time was up.


	13. Bring Me To Life

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Over 70 reviews, over 50 followers and over 30 favorites…you are officially awesome! Thank you so much!**

**For all of you who read my other story, 'Leah Marie', I'm not going to be able to get a chapter to you before I leave for vacation but it will be the first thing I do when I get home!**

**Here it is the one you have all been waiting for! I actually had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you enjoy! Just a quick note SUPERNATURAL will signify a break in time.**

Bring Me to Life

Michelle- 31

Dean- 29

Sam- 26

"Are you sure you guys can't stay any longer?" Jess asked sweetly as she refilled our coffees after clearing our breakfast plates.

"Yeah, there's something we should check out in Wisconsin," I answered after reading in the paper about a drowning, the third one this year but I wouldn't get into too much detail with her.

She knew a few basics, per Sam's request, like salt and holy water was for protection and that there was true evil in the world but we never got into the specifics on how she came back or what our family did for a living. Sam and her had gotten married and were currently living in a small house in Illinois complete with a white picket fence. Dean and I even surprised them last Christmas with the puppy Sam had always wanted.

"When you heading out?" Sam questioned and I could hear the slight disappointment behind his voice, the same thing I heard every time we visited and had to leave.

"As soon as Dean gets done primping himself in the mirror," I replied earning a small giggle from Jess as Dean walked into the kitchen with a scowl on his face.

"I don't primp," he argued.

"Oh, that's good cause your hair is sticking up in the back," I said and watched as he checked in the reflection of the microwave door.

"Well before you two leave there's something we want to tell you," Sam smiled walking over and putting an arm around Jessica's waist.

"You tell them," she urged as she matched his smile, "They're your family."

"They're yours too," he corrected her.

"Ok, can someone tell us?" Dean questioned, he never was the most patient person in the world.

"We're pregnant," Sam blurted out.

I instantly jumped out of my chair and pulled him into a hug before turning and giving Jess one as well.

"Good job," Dean smirked patting Sam on the shoulder and giving Jess a kiss on the cheek.

"Michelle, before you go can we talk a minute?" Jess asked motioning for me to follow her out to the back porch.

"Of course," I nodded as Dean started telling Sam he hopes it is a boy so he can be just as cool as his uncle. We each took a seat on the wicker chairs and it looked like she didn't know how to start which made me nervous, "Jess, whatever it is, you can tell me."

"Well, I wanted to ask you something," she said meeting my eyes for the first time since we had been outside.

"Anything," I smiled encouraging her to go on.

"I want you to be the baby's Godmother."

I sat there frozen and had to blink back a few tears, "Honey, I would love too…" _but I can't, _was what I was going to say until she cut me off.

"Oh thank God, I was so worried," she smiled and pulled me into a hug.

I didn't know how to explain to her that in a year's time I wouldn't be around anymore and that I was just overjoyed that I would be able to see their little one before my time was up.

**SUPERNATURAL**

"Why are we doing this?" Dean asked as we passed a sign welcoming us to Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin.

"I told you," I rolled my eyes at the thought of repeating myself, "Last week Sophie Carlton, eighteen, walking into the lake, doesn't walk out. Authorities dragged the water and got nothing. She is the third Lake Manitoc drowning this year, none of the other bodies were found either."

"Yeah, I know the details. I meant why are we working a job?" he clarified and when I didn't answer he continued, "Is this really what you want to do with your last year?"

No, of course it wasn't, but I knew Dean would never stop hunting. It's all he knew and somehow it made him happy. So until my last day I was going to be with him and make sure he didn't get in over his head.

"This is the Carlton's house," I told him grabbing our fake ID's out of the glove box.

"Shell," Dean stopped me and I knew he wanted an actual answer but I didn't have one that wouldn't make him feel guilty.

"No, Agent Hamill," I smirked and strode up to the front door and knocked with an annoyed Dean following closely behind.

A young man answered the door and stared at us expectantly.

"Will Carlton?" I asked double checking we had the right place.

"Yeah, that's right," he nodded.

"I'm Agent Hamill," I introduced myself before motioning to Dean, "This is Agent Ford. We're with the U.S. Wildlife Service; we're here to ask you a few questions about the lake."

He walked us around to the back of the house where we could see, who I presumed was his father, sitting on a bench near the dock.

"She was about a hundred yards out. That's where she got dragged down."

"And you're sure she didn't just drown?" I questioned.

"Yeah, she was a varsity swimmer. She practically grew up in that lake. She was as safe out there as she was in her own bathtub."

"So no splashing? No signs of distress?" Dean asked speaking up for the first time.

"No, that's what I'm telling you."

"Did you see any shadows in the water? Maybe some dark shape breach the surface? Or any strange tracks by the shoreline?" I tried hoping to get some clue on what was out there.

"No. Again, she was really far out there. Why, what do you think is out there?"

"We'll let you know as soon as we do," I answered and started walking back to the car when I heard Dean speak up.

"What about your father? Can we talk to him?"

"Look, if you don't mind, I mean…he didn't see anything and he's kind of been through a lot."

"We understand," Dean nodded.

We got back in the car and headed to the police station to see what other information we could get and I could feel the hostility literally rolling off of Dean.

"What's eating you?" I asked concerned.

"Just got a look into the future is all," he replied shaking his head.

"Meaning?" I encouraged him to elaborate as I parked the car.

"How do you think dad is going to handle it when you're not here?" he asked with an angry tone before getting out of the car.

I sat there for a minute to collect myself. It wasn't any of my father's business what I chose to do with my life. He was my father and I would always love him but the resentment of how we were raised would always be there. I took one more deep breath before walking into the lobby where Dean was waiting impatiently with the sheriff.

"Now, I'm sorry, but why does the Wildlife Service care about an accidental drowning?" I heard the sheriff ask Dean.

"You sure it was accidental?" I questioned not liking the tone he was giving my brother, "Will Carlton saw something grab his sister."

"Like what?" the sheriff asked as he walked us back to his office and pointed to a couple of chairs in front of his desk, "here, sit please. There are no indigenous carnivores in that lake. There's nothing even big enough to pull down a person, unless it was the Lock Ness Monster."

"Yeah," Dean laughed and I gave him a look to watch what he said, "right."

"Will Carlton was traumatized, and sometimes the mind plays tricks. Still…we dragged that entire lake. We even ran a sonar sweep, just to be sure, and there was nothing down there."

"That's weird though," I commented, "I mean, that's the third missing body this year."

"I know. There are people from my town. These are people I care about. Anyway…all this…it won't be a problem much longer."

"What do you mean?" I questioned thinking he knew more than what he was letting on.

"Well, the dam, of course."

This time is was Dean's turn to cover up my mistake, "Of course, the dam, it's uh…it sprung a leak."

"It's falling apart, and the feds won't give us the grant to repair it, so they've opened the spillway. In another six months, there won't be much of a lake. There won't be much of a town, either. But as Federal Wildlife, you already knew that."

"Exactly," I nodded and was relieved when there was a knock at the door before a young woman walked in.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" she apologized and I had to hold back a smile when Dean stood up, "I can come back later."

"Agents, this is my daughter."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Dean," he introduced with his hand out.

"Andrea Barr, hi," she took his hand and shook it.

"Hi," he repeated like he was mesmerized by her.

"They're from the Wildlife Service…about the lake."

"Oh," she replied and it was almost as if you could see the sadness wash over her.

A little boy walked in the room and stood close by her.

"Oh, hey there," Dean smiled, "What's your name?"

But instead of answering the little boy walked out of the room with Andrea following him.

"Good job creeper, you scared the kid," I scolded in a whisper as I hit Dean in the arm.

"His name is Lucas."

"Is he ok?" I asked as I watched Andrea give him some crayons to color with.

"My grandson's been through a lot. We all have," he answered and showed us to the door, "if there's anything else I can do for you please let me know."

**SUPERNATURAL**

We got a motel room after Dean had tried a cheesy pick-up line on Andrea that didn't work. I sat at the small table with Sam's old laptop he had given us when he quit hunting while Dean was pulling his clothes out of his duffle and separating what was clean and what was dirty.

When I saw his dirty pile of clothes getting bigger by the second I couldn't help but ask, "Dean, we were just at Sam's why didn't you do laundry there?"

He just shrugged, "I like the way you do it better."

"You need to get used to doing your own laundry," I stated and saw Dean's facial expression harden so I turned the topic back the case, "So, there's the three drowning victims this year."

"Any before that?" Dean asked taking a shirt out and smelling it before tossing it aside.

"Uh, yeah," I answered clinking on a few links before the article I wanted finally popped up. Research, now that was something I was used to, "There is six more spread out over the past thirty-five years. Those bodies were never recovered either. If there is something out there, it's picking up its pace."

"So, what lake monster on a binge?"

"I don't know, the whole lake monster theory, bugs me," I admitted as he came over to the laptop to read over my shoulder, "I mean Loch Ness…uh…Lake Champlain, there are literally hundreds of eyewitness account, but here, almost nothing. Whatever is out there, no one is living to tell about it."

"Wait," Dean stopped me as I was scrolling down the page, "Barr, Christopher Barr. Where have I heard that name before?"

"Christopher Barr, the victim in May," I read through the article, "Christopher Barr was Andrea's husband, Lucas's father. Apparently he took Lucas out swimming. Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned. It took two hours before the kid got rescued."

"Maybe we have an eyewitness after all."

"Yeah, no wonder the kid was so freaked out," I replied softly as memories flooded my mind, "watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over."

**SUPERNATURAL**

"Don't go all Jerry Maguire on her while I talk to Lucas, you think you can handle that?" I asked as we walked up to where Andrea was sitting on a bench watching Lucas drawing on another bench in the middle of the playground. His response was giving me a sarcastic smile.

"Can we join you?" Dean asked her once we got close enough.

"I'm here with my son."

"Do you mind if I say hi?" I asked not wanting to just walk over and talk to him without permission.

"I suppose."

I gave Dean one more warning glance before walking over to where Lucas was coloring and I took a seat next to him.

"Hey there, buddy," I smiled thinking about how much this little guy reminded me of my Sammy, shaggy hair and everything, "you mind if I sit and draw with you for a little bit?"

He didn't answer so I picked up a crayon and started drawing stick figures, Winchester and artist wasn't a good combination but I tried.

"You know, I'm thinking you can hear me, you just don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what happened to your dad but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something…Anyway. Well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you, or, uh…or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything. You can draw me a picture about what you saw that day with your dad on the lake," but still there was no answer, "ok, this is for you," I showed him my picture, "This is my family. That's my dad, that's my mom, that's one of my brothers…he's my best friend and that's my youngest brother, he's my responsibility."

I sat the picture down next to him and made my way back over to where Dean and Andrea were talking.

"Lucas hasn't said a word, not even to me. Not since his dad's accident."

"We heard, I'm sorry," Dean told her earnestly.

"What are the doctors saying?" I asked gently, knowing if it was either of my boys I would be going nuts.

"That it's a kind of post-traumatic stress."

"That can't be easy, for either of you," Dean spoke up and I almost fell over at how genuine he was being.

"We moved in with my dad. He helps out a lot. It's just…when I think about what Lucas went through, what he saw…"

"Kids are strong, you'd be surprised what they can deal with," I assured her thinking back to our own childhoods.

"You know, he used to have such life. He was hard to keep up with, to tell you the truth. Now he just sits there. Drawing those pictures, playing with those army men. I just wish…" she trailed off as Lucas walked up to us, "hey sweetie."

Lucas turned and handed me a picture of a house before walking back to his crayons.

"Thanks, Lucas."

**SUPERNATURAL**

I stayed at the motel and did Dean's laundry while he went to pick us up some food. I had just gotten done folding the last pair of jeans when he walked in the door.

"So, I think we can rule out Nessie."

"What do you mean?" I asked stuffing his clothes back in the duffle.

"I just drove past the Carlton house. There was an ambulance there. Will Carlton is dead," he replied placing a pizza box and six pack of beer on the table.

"He drowned?" I questioned walking over and popping the top off two beers and handing one to Dean.

"Yeah…in the sink."

"Definitely not a creature then…water wraith, maybe? Some kind of demon? I mean, something that controls water."

"Water that comes from the same source," Dean realized and you could literally see the wheels turning in his head, "the lake."

"Which would explain why it's upping the body count. The lake is draining, it'll be dry in a few months so whatever this thing is, whatever it wants, its running out of time," I said grabbing a piece of the pizza that had gone cold.

"And if it can get through the pipes, it can get to anyone, almost anywhere," he added taking a slice for himself and folding it before sticking half of it in his mouth.

"Well we know this has something to do with Bill Carlton, it took both of his kids."

Dean took another bite and swallowed before mentioning, "and I've been asking around. Lucas's dad, Chris, was Bill Carlton's Godson."

**SUPERNATURAL**

When we got to the Carlton's house we found Bill sitting on the same bench he was before.

"Mr. Carlton?" I tried to get his attention without scaring him, "We're from the Department…"

"I don't care who you're with. I've answered enough questions today," he cut me off.

"Your son said he saw something in that lake," I continued as gently as I could, "What about you? You ever see anything out there? Mr. Carlton, Sophie's drowning and Will's death…we think there might be a connection to you or your family."

"My children are gone. It's…it's worse than dying. Go away. Please."

Dean and I started walking back to the car and I could feel the anger building in him again so before he could say anything I asked, "What do you think?"

"I think the poor guy's been through hell," he stated spitefully, "but I also think he's not telling us something."

"Huh," I thought out loud and Dean followed my gaze to the front of the house.

"What?"

"Maybe Bill isn't the only one who saw something," I answered pulling out the picture of a house Lucas had drew for me, mirroring the one that was in front of us right down to the red roof and green shutters.

**SUPERNATURAL**

"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea," Andrea told us as we stood on her front porch.

"I just need to talk to him," I tried again, though I couldn't blame her for wanting to protect him, "just for a few minutes."

"He won't say anything. What good's it going to do?" she questioned opening the door a little further and letting us into the foyer.

"Andrea, we think more people might get hurt. We think something's happening out there," Dean spoke up.

"My husband, the others, they just drowned," she stated and you could tell how deeply she was hurt by even saying it, "that's all."

"If that's what you really believe, then we'll go. But if you think there's even a possibility that something else could be going on here, please let my sister talk to your son."

She stared at him for a minute then looked over to me before silently leading us up to Lucas' room. He sat in the middle of the floor with his toy soldiers sprawled about and was concentrating very hard on picture he was coloring.

"Hey Lucas, you remember me?" I asked light heartedly as I sat down in front of him with Andrea and Dean watching from the hallway. He of course didn't answer but I didn't let that stop me. "You know I wanted to thank you for that last drawing but the thing is, I need your help again." I took out the picture he had given me earlier and placed it next to the paper he was coloring on, "How did you know to draw this? Did you know something bad was going to happen?" But still no answer. "Maybe you could nod yes or no for me?"

I could see Andrea getting anxious in the hallway and Dean trying to hold her off for a few more minutes. I was at a loss, Sam and even Dean on the rare occasion, were always able to talk to me or tell me what was bothering them and I would do whatever it took to fix it. Lucas didn't know me any better than some strange woman who appeared one day and kept insisting on talking to him. I could see it in his eyes though, and the way he slouched his shoulders like the weight of the world was on them, he was scared and every instinct I had was to protect him.

"You're scared and that's ok. I understand. See, when I was a little younger than you, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom…I know she would have wanted me to be brave and to continue to be her little helper. That was over twenty years ago and I still think about that everyday. And I do my best to be brave. And I think your dad would want you to be too but I know it's still scary, so what if we were brave together, huh?"

He dropped the crayon he had been coloring with and met my eyes for the first time. Just when I thought he might say something he handed me another picture this time of a white church, a yellow house and a boy with a blue baseball cap and a red bicycle in front of a wooden fence.

"Thanks, Lucas, you did good," I smiled and ruffled his hair as I stood up.

**SUPERNATURAL**

"Hey, I'm sorry if I upset you talking about mom back there," I apologized as we went in search for the house in the picture.

Sam, never having any of his own memories, would love to hear all about her; her favorite foods, music and mannerisms. Dean on the other hand kept it all inside and I usually made sure not to talk about her when he was around.

"It's fine," he replied flatly looking at the picture as if it was a map, "you know, you were really good with the kid…too bad you won't have some of your own someday."

I knew he would never forgive me for what I did but I wasn't going to argue with him every time he tried to get a dig in so I just patted his leg, "I already have two boys."

We eventually found the house in the picture and found it belonged to the Sweeney family. Ms. Sweeney was kind enough to let us into her home, she explained how her son, Peter, had been missing for thirty-five years after he was supposed to ride his bicycle home and that the police never had any idea what happened. While in the sitting room, Dean motioned to some toy soldiers that were on the desk along side a picture of two boys. I picked it up and looked at the picture of two boys, turning it over the inscription read: _Peter Sweeney and Bill Carlton 1970._

After thanking her for her time Dean and I talked how it was likely Bill did something to Peter all those years ago and now his spirit was back for revenge going after everyone in his family. We pulled up to Bill Carlton's house to talk to him and hopefully confirm our suspicions but just as Dean was about to knock on the door we heard the sound of a small engine. A quick glace over to my brother and we both ran around to the back of the house to see Bill going out on the lake with his boat.

"Mr. Carlton!" Dean yelled.

"Mr. Carlton, you need to come back! Come out of the water!" I shouted as we both ran along the shore line and onto the dock.

He however ignored our cries a second later his boat was tossed over and he was gone.

**SUPERNATURAL**

"Michelle, Dean," Andrea greeted us as we walked into the police station with the sheriff, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"So now you're on a first-name basis. What are you doing here?" the sheriff asked taking his anger on us out on her.

"I brought you dinner," she replied holding up a paper bag.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I don't really have the time."

"I heard about Bill Carlton. Is it true? Is something going on with the lake?" she questioned.

"Right now we don't know what the truth is but I think it might be better if you and Lucas went home," he answered. That's when I heard Lucas whine from his seat before he jumped up, ran over to me and latched onto my arm.

"Lucas, hey, what is it?" I asked crouching down to his level and searching his face for any indication.

"Lucas," Andrea tried to guide him to the door but he wouldn't release his hold.

"Lucas, it's ok. It's ok," I reassured him and his grip loosened enough for Andrea to get him outside.

"Ok, so let me get this straight," the sheriff started as soon as the door had shut, "you see…something attack Bill's boat, sending Bill-who is a very good swimmer, by the way- into the drink and you never see him again?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up," Dean nodded.

"And I'm supposed to believe this, even though I've already sonar-swept that entire lake? And what you're describing is impossible? And you're not really Wildlife Service?" Dean and I glanced at each other in shock. "That's right, I checked. Department's never heard of you two."

"We can explain…" I started until he abruptly cut me off.

"Enough, please. The only reason you are breathing free air is one of Bill's neighbors saw him steering out that boat just before you did. So, we have a couple of options here. I can arrest you for impersonating government officials and hold you as material witnesses to Bill Carlton's disappearance. Or, we can chalk this all up to a bad day, you get into your car, you put this town in your rearview mirror, and you don't ever darken my doorstep again."

"Door number two sounds good," Dean said basically dragging me over to the door.

"That's the one I'd pick," the sheriff replied as I shrugged Dean off and stormed out to the car.

We drove in silence, not even the radio was on, until we got to the intersection for the interstate. I couldn't get Lucas out of my mind and I wasn't sure it was the look of terror in his eyes or the fact that he reminded me so much of Sam when he was younger.

"Green," Dean spoke up breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"Light's green," he answered as if it was the most obvious thing before turning slightly concerned, "you want me to drive?"

"No," I shook my head and did a u-turn.

"Uh, the interstate it the other way," Dean shoved his thumb in the other direction.

"I know."

"Shell, I think this job is over."

"I'm not so sure," I admitted and watched as Dean ran a hand over his face.

"If Bill murdered Peter Sweeney and Peter's spirit got its revenge then the case is closed and the spirit should be at rest," he tried to reason with me.

"Alright, so what if we take off and this thing isn't done? You know, what if we've missed something? What if more people get hurt?" I asked putting more pressure on the gas pedal with every question.

"But why would you think that?"

"Because Lucas was really scared."

"That's what this is about it?" he questioned incredulously.

"I just don't want to leave this town until I know he's ok."

Dean turned his head to look at me and put his arm up on the back of the seat, "he's not Sam, you know."

There it was, that telepathy thing he always did, but I didn't have a response for him. It took us until early morning to get back to Andrea's house but I was determined.

"Are you sure about this? It's pretty late," Dean commented as I put my finger on the doorbell.

I didn't even have time to think as Lucas whipped the door open breathing heavily and looking completely terrified.

"Lucas? Lucas!" I called after him as he ran back inside the house with Dean and me following.

When we got to the steps we could see water running down them and out from underneath the bathroom door. Lucas ran over and started banging on the door repeatedly. I moved him out of the way as Dean kicked the door down to see Andrea being held under the water in the bathtub. I quickly hoisted Lucas into my arms and turned so his back was to the bathroom, I trusted Dean would do anything he could to save her but the rare chance he couldn't, I didn't want Lucas having the image of his dead mother in his head for the rest of his life. After a few minutes of struggling Dean got her out of the tub and they both fell onto the floor.

"She's ok," I whispered into Lucas' ear as I heard her coughing.

It was dawn not too long after and I went into the kitchen to make Lucas breakfast while Dean talked to Andrea about what had happened. I would have been lying if I said that I wasn't completely in shock the way Dean seemed to be around her. If I didn't know any better I would have thought it was Sam sitting with her, comforting her and making sure she was alright. Figuring Lucas wouldn't want to be too far from his mom I brought his plate into the living room and noticed him staring out the window.

"Lucas, what is it?" I questioned and he went over to the door and walked outside.

"Lucas, honey?" Andrea called out as we followed him unsure of what was going on.

He walked a good distance from the house before stopping and staring at the ground and then up at me, expecting me to do something.

"I want you and Lucas to stay in the house," Dean instructed as he walked them back and grabbed shovels out of the Impala.

We dug for about five minutes not knowing what we were going to find when my shovel hit something with a clanking noise, dropping our shovels we started digging with our hands until Dean got a good hold on it and pulled it out.

"Peter's bike," I breathed out when I heard the distinct sound of a gun being cocked.

"Who are you?" The sheriff asked and I turned to see him pointing the gun at Dean.

"Put the gun down, Jake," I told him as calmly as I could and side stepping a little so I was between the gun and Dean.

"How did you know that was there?"

"What happened? You and Bill killed Peter, drowned him in the lake and then buried the bike?" Dean asked from behind me and I realized he must have gotten more information out of Andrea while I was making breakfast. "You can't bury the truth, Jake. Nothing stays buried."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"You and Bill killed Peter Sweeney thirty-five years ago, that's what I'm talking about," Dean continued, "And now you got one seriously pissed off spirit."

"Dad!" Andrea called out running up to where we were.

"It's going to take Andrea, Lucas, everyone you love. It's going to drown them and it's going to drag their bodies God knows where, so you can feel the same pain Peter's mom felt. And then, after that, it's going to take you and it's not going to stop until it does," I tried to get him to understand but it wasn't working.

"Yeah, how do you know that?"

"Because that's exactly what it did to Bill Carlton," I answered sharply, not liking the fact he still had his gun raised at my brother.

"Listen to yourselves, both of us, you're insane."

"I don't really give a rat's ass what you think of us," I growled, "but if we're going to bring down this spirit, we need to find the remains, salt them, and burn them into dust. Now tell me you buried Peter somewhere. Tell me you didn't just let him go in the lake."

"Dad, is any of this true?" Andrea asked in disbelief.

"No, don't listen to them. They're liars and they're dangerous."

"Something tried to drown me, Chris dies on that lake, dad, tell me you…you didn't kill anyone," she pleaded with him but he just looked away, "Oh my God."

"Billy and I were at the lake. Peter was the smallest one. We always bullied him, but this time, it got rough. We were holding his head under the water. We didn't mean to but we held him under too long and he drowned. We let the body go, and it sank. Oh, Andrea, we were kids. We were so scared, it was a mistake. But, Andrea, to say that I have anything to do with these drownings, with Chris, because of some ghost? It's not rational."

"Alright, listen to me, all of you. We need to get you away from this lake, as far as we can, right now," Dean instructed as he put his hand gently on Andrea's back to guide her back to the house.

"Lucas!" Jake screamed and I turned to see him leaning over the dock for one of his toys.

Without a second thought I started running full speed towards the lake but I wasn't quick enough and before I got to the dock Lucas fell in. I could hear everyone else running behind me and Dean warning Andrea to stay on the dock as I dove into the water. I searched until I couldn't hold my breath anymore and surfaced to see Dean in the water with me.

"Dean?" I questioned hoping he would have seen him but he just shook his head.

"Peter, if you can hear me…please, Peter, I'm sorry," Jake apologized walking into the lake from the shore, "Lucas, he's just a little boy. Please, it's not his fault, it's mine. Please take me."

"Daddy, no!" Andrea cried from the dock.

"Jake, get out of the water!" Dean shouted as I dove back under to find Lucas.

The water was so murky I could barely see a foot in front of me, my lungs burned begging for oxygen but I refused to come back up without him. Just as I thought all hope was lost I spotted him and pulled him to the surface.

"No!" Andrea screamed when she saw his wasn't moving.

**SUPERNATURAL**

"We're not going to save everyone," Dean reminded me as we packed the Impala, having gotten a motel room so we could shower and put dry clothes on.

"I know."

"Michelle, Dean," Andrea called out to get our attention as she walked over with Lucas, "We're glad we caught you, we made you lunch for the road. Lucas insisted on making the sandwiches himself."

"Can I give it to them now?" Lucas asked and I could help the smile that came across my face to hear him finally talking.

"Of course."

"Come on, Lucas, let's put these in the cooler," I motioned him over to the car so that Dean and Andrea could talk.

I watched him brush a piece of hair behind her ear and get ready to walk away when she grabbed him arm, making him turn to look at her. They stared at each other for another second when she leaned in and kissed him. Dean returned the kiss with more passion before walking them both over to the car.

"Alright, if you're going to be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time," I prompted Lucas.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

"That's right," I smiled and held my hand up, "high five. What do you say we go to the park? That is, if it's alright with your mom."

"Mom?" Lucas asked turning around.

"Thought we were hitting the road," Dean said with his forehead scrunched in confusion.

I shrugged, "figured you two could go get lunch somewhere and we would take the sandwiches to the park."

"You sure you don't mind?" Andrea asked as Lucas jumped into the backseat and buckled up.

"Not at all," I smiled walking around to the driver's side, "but I'm not promising he won't be full of sugar when I bring him home."

"Michelle, what do you think about spaceships? Are aliens real? If I swing high enough can I get up to space?" Lucas rattled off excitedly as we drove away.

I looked at him in the rearview mirror and for a second I saw shaggy dark brown hair and hazel eyes staring back at me, instead of the blonde haired little boy.


	14. A Very Sweet Sixteen

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Thanks to the lovely Jenmm31 for the idea for this chapter! And with it being May 2****nd**** (Sam Winchester's birthday) I thought it would be the perfect time to post this! I know it's super short but I didn't think it needed anything else.**

A Very Sweet Sixteen

Michelle-16

Dean-14

Sam-11

"So, wait," Brittney put her hands up to stop our conversation as we waited for Sam outside of the middle school, "not only do you live in a motel but you got a car for your sixteenth birthday?"

It wasn't like that at all, dad had given it to me so I could run Dean, Sam and myself to and from school and so I could leave at a moments notice if I had to but of course I wouldn't tell her that. Brittney was the closest thing I ever had to a best friend and with us staying in one place for more than a few weeks it was nice to hangout with someone my own age…and gender.

"And she even hunts vampires on the weekends like a wannabe Buffy," Dean mocked from the backseat and I shot him a glare in the rearview mirror; needless to say she wasn't his favorite person but the feeling was mutual.

"Yeah, right," Brittney rolled her eyes, thankfully laughing it off as Sam climbed in the backseat.

"How was your day, buddy?" I asked starting the car up and trying to pull out of the spot where I had parallel parked the car.

"Good, we learned about Shakespeare today," he replied before lowering his voice and having some mini conversation with Dean about gym class. I loved being his older sister but couldn't thank God enough that Dean could cover those kind of issues.

"Oh," Brittney cooed, "I want a love story just like Romeo and Juliet someday."

I glanced over to her for a second with a look of disbelief on my face, "You do realize it was between a thirteen year old and a seventeen year old, not to mention six people died."

"Well, you know what I mean," she waved my comment off, "so as soon as we drop the dummy and the cutie off we can head right to the mall. Daddy gave me his credit card this morning not wanting me to miss out on such a big milestone."

"What you getting a brain?" Dean teased.

I had to admit Brittney and I were as different as night and day but somehow we just didn't care, both wanting a friendship with no drama.

"No, dork, my sweet sixteen. Every girl wants one, it's a party to show she is finally an adult," Brittney explained irritated.

"I thought you weren't an adult until you are eighteen," Sam chimed in as we pulled up to the motel.

"Ugh, boys," Brittney grumbled.

"Ugh, girls," Dean mimicked getting out of the car before turning to me with a devilish smile, "have fun dress shopping."

"Have fun doing your homework," I replied wiping the smirk right off his face, "I'll be checking it when I get back so actually do it this time, please."

"One time, Shell, one time, you got to let it go," Dean mumbled as he unlocked the motel room door.

I waited until they were both inside and the door was closed before putting the car in reverse and heading towards the mall.

"What did they not know about your sweet sixteen?" she casually asked putting her feet up on the dashboard.

"We don't really do birthdays in my family," I answered half-truthfully.

What I meant was we didn't really do my birthday, or my dad's for that matter. I made sure even if it was just a cupcake the boys always had some kind of cake, or in Dean's case pie, on their birthday with a candle to blow out and a small memento. I even secretly still celebrated my mom's birthday, buying a balloon every year and letting it float up to the heavens. Don't get me wrong, my dad would say happy birthday when he remembered or was around and one year I miraculously was given a used leather jacket but still I could count on one hand the times we actually did something special for my birthday.

After going to seven different dress shops and Brittney trying on over a hundred dresses she finally found one that she loved. I dropped her off at her house and couldn't help but roll my eyes at her dad's Ferrari parked in the driveway. I never understood the want or need for loads of money I was more than happy with enough to get by. Family, memories, health and friends were what made your life rich in my opinion.

Pulling back into the motel parking lot I was exhausted and convinced that shopping could be more of a workout than chasing down a werewolf. I dragged myself out of the car and shuffled my way into the motel room to be met with the smell of chocolate.

"What the…" I trailed off not believing what I was seeing, "You were supposed to do homework not turn this place into Willy Wonka's Factory!"

There was candy EVERYWHERE. Both beds were covered in everything from M&M's, to Sweet tarts, to packs of gummy bears and tons of Hershey's kisses.

"It's for you," Sam smiled innocently which only confused me even more since I was never a big candy person and I looked over to Dean for some kind of explanation.

"Well," he started shifting on his feet and rubbing a hand on the back of his neck making him look much older than the fourteen year old he was. "We felt bad about you missing out on a sweet sixteen like every other girl."

"So we hit the vending machine and got everything sweet we could," Sam continued walking over and giving me a hug around my waist, "Happy late birthday Shell."

"Thanks buddy," I whispered trying to keep in the tears that threatened to fall as Dean walked over and gave me a hug as well. "I suppose this means you didn't do your homework," I sighed clearing a spot on the bed so I could sit down.

"Actually, it's all done," Dean replied as he handed it over for me to see. I fake fainted backwards on top of all the candy with my hand over my heart. "Ha ha very funny," he grumbled.

They may have gotten the concept wrong when they heard the word sweet sixteen but it was definitely a birthday I would never forget.


	15. Beautiful Memories

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**I know this seems like a final chapter but I promise there will be more. I took the suggestions I got from Ayeisha goddess of lust, DeeDeeAM, LunaEvanna Longbottom, and Wandertogondor and combined all of them into this chapter with help from RealWinchesterGirl95!**

Beautiful Memories

Michelle-32

Dean-29

Sam-27

One week, seven days, one hundred and sixty eight hours was all the time I had left before my part of the deal came due. Death was something I had thought about constantly since I was five years old. I thought of it as the purest form of evil, the evil that took my mom away, the evil that tried everyday to take away my dad and brothers and the evil that was now coming for me. Dean and Sam spent countless hours with their nose in books trying to find someway, anyway, to get me out of the deal I had made but they always came up empty.

It was a month since Jessica had the baby, a little boy named Michael, and we were all getting together at their house for a barbeque. Well, to everyone else it was just a barbeque for me it was one last time to be together as a family before I had to say goodbye.

"I can't believe they aren't here yet," Sam complained standing at the grill flipping a few burgers while Jessica sat on the porch holding their little bundle of joy.

"Dean will be late for his own funeral," I laughed taking a sip from my beer and enjoying the way the cool liquid felt as it slid down my throat.

"Michelle!" Lucas called out running over to me with his arms open.

I set my beer on the side of the grill just in time to catch him and lift him up in my arms, "my God you're getting big what are they feeding you?"

"Food," he shrugged getting down and giving Sam a high five before running over to see Jess.

"Hi guys," Andrea waved at us.

"Hey yourself," I waved back walking over to join the girls on the porch, passing by Dean giving him a quick hug and a pinch on the cheek just to annoy him.

Dean chatted with Sam while he finished grilling and walked over in time to hear Lucas ask, "I thought Mr. Winchester was coming too."

I glanced up at my very guilty looking brothers, seeing my father wasn't on the top of my to-do list and I had been told it would just be us.

"He should be here soon," Sam answered sitting down next to Jess still watching me closely for my reaction.

"Awesome," I smiled sarcastically thinking back to the last time I had seen my father.

"_You did what?" my father hollered tossing his empty beer bottle across the room, it smashing into a million pieces when it hit the wall._

"_Dad, Sam was losing it, he…" I tried to explain yet again but he wasn't hearing it._

"_You sold your damn soul, Michelle! There is no going back on that! I taught you better, what is wrong with you?!" He screamed his face red with fury. "She is just some stranger; he would have gotten over a broken heart!"_

"_Like you have," I challenged standing up from my seat, "I wasn't going to have him end up like you, not on my watch."_

_Years of fighting I should have known what was coming next but was genuinely surprised when he backhanded me across the face hard enough to split my lip. "You're a selfish bitch, you know that."_

"_And you're an ignorant asshole," I hissed grabbing my things and heading for the door, "I hope I die before I ever see you again."_

I hadn't seen or spoken to my father since that night and I was content in keeping it that way but as if on cue I heard the rumble of his truck coming down the road and parking in the driveway. Dean took a seat next to me at the picnic table and gave my knee a reassuring squeeze.

Dad strode through the back gate with a big blue bear for his grandson trying to look like father of the year. He greeted everyone at the table before taking a seat across from me.

"Seashell," he greeted like nothing had ever happened.

"Dad," I nodded back my leg shaking from the anger I had towards him and Dean moved his hand back on my knee to try to calm me down.

"Hey, Mr. Winchester, why do you call her seashell?" Lucas asked innocently while sticking half of his hot dog in his mouth.

"Lucas," Andrea looked at him with shock before turning to look between my father and I, "I'm sorry, he has been a basket full of questions lately."

"Yeah, I know how that is," I said glancing over to Sam.

"_Shell, how come people only have two legs?" Sam asked curiously as we drove to the next town with Dean sprawled out in the backseat fast asleep._

"_Because we would look funny with three," I replied. It was great that Sam had a love for learning but all the questions he had were driving me nuts._

"_How do balloons float?"_

"_Helium."_

"_What's the difference between a parallelogram and a square?"_

"_A square has four equal sides and a parallelogram has two sets of equal sides," I answered and for once I was jealous of my little brother sleeping in the backseat._

"_Do you know everything? What's quantum physics? Do you actually know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Why does Dean love pie? Why do giraffes have such long necks? Do you think they are a descendent of the dinosaurs?" He rattled off so quickly I didn't think he took a breath._

"_Sammy," I cut him off, "It wouldn't be fun if I just told you all the answers so after we get a room for the night we will go to the library and you can look it up, ok?"_

"_Alright," he smiled excitedly and I turned the music on before he could get another question out. _

"It's ok," Dad smiled kindly and proceeded to answer Lucas' question, "When Dean was first learning to talk he couldn't say Michelle for the life of him so he ended up calling her Shell-Shell. Mary made the joke that she was our little seashell, like a treasure washed up onto the beach and the name just kind of stuck."

I was dumbfounded that he was talking about our mother so freely and glancing over at my brothers' faces showed they were just as shocked.

"So, I hear someone's birthday is coming up. Have any idea what you want?" Jess asked breaking the silence that had fallen over the table.

"I want transformers but an autobot not a decepticon and maybe…" Lucas rattled off about ten other toys and action figures he wanted but my mind wandered to when Sam was younger.

_Dad was out on a hunt, per usual, completely forgetting about Sam's sixth birthday. Dean and I had decorated the room with black and blue streamers, gone out and gotten a package of cupcakes from the gas station on the corner and bag full of candy as a present._

"_Wow, this is for me?" Sam smiled his eyes lighting up as he looked around the room._

"_Sure is, buddy," I replied fishing out some matches from the bottom of my duffel bag to light the candles I stuck in the middle of the cupcakes._

_We sang happy birthday and told him to make a wish and blow out his candles but when he opened his eyes I saw his face fall with disappointment._

"_Dude, you get cake, smile," Dean tried, in his own way, to cheer him up but it didn't work._

"_What's wrong, Sammy?" I asked concerned._

"_My wish didn't come true," he admitted pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs._

"_What did you wish for?" I questioned already thinking of ways to make it real for him._

"_To have a mom," he replied and I saw Dean almost choke on his cupcake, "Shell, why aren't we like other families? Why don't we have a mom, were we bad?"_

_Dean looked over to me wondering how I was going to answer such a question without making the poor kid feel worse._

"_No, we weren't bad; in fact we are the lucky ones," I answered pulling him onto my lap, "Because we have each other, who else in the world has siblings as awesome as we are. You, Sammy, have a very special family and we may be different than the other families but I don't think you could be loved anymore."_

"_But what happened to her?" Sam continued. I had to take a deep breath to hold in the tears that threatened to fall and heard Dean clear his throat to hold in his own emotions._

"_She's with the angels watching over us everyday. See, they needed her for something real special and one day after you have had a long, long life, we will see her again."_

"Hey," Dean placed his hand on my back to get my attention drawing me back to reality, "you alright?"

"Yeah," I smiled watching my Sammy hold his own little boy and Lucas tickling his little toes.

"And you don't have to worry, Michelle is like the coolest aunt you could have," Lucas talked to Michael as if he could understand every word he was saying. "She is the best at sneaking you sweets when your mom isn't looking and when she takes you to the park she'll take you down the biggest slide there and even go in the sandbox with you. Just don't ask her to color with you, she can only draw stick figures. And she has this awesome saying that you are going to have to learn, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', I'm not exactly sure what it means but I know she can take on the world so that makes her really strong like wonder woman."

"Hey Lucas," Dad called out with a football in his hand, "why don't you show me how this thing works."

Andrea had gone in the house to help Jessica with the dishes and to put a pot of coffee on. I held my arms out and motioned for Sam to hand my nephew over so he could go play catch with dad, Dean and Lucas. That was a sight I never thought I would see.

Michael squirmed a little in my arms until I rocked back and forth a little. He was so tiny but perfect in every way possible. He started to get cranky and you could tell he was fighting to stay awake. I moved him so that his head could rest on my shoulder and as I rubbed his back I started singing the same song our mother used to sing to us.

"When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom let it be. Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be."

I hadn't even realized I was singing that loud until I opened my eyes and saw my father and brothers watching me, each of them with watery eyes.

"Guys, come on," Lucas complained that no one was playing with him and ran to try and tackle Sam.

I looked down to the little boy on my shoulder that was sleeping peacefully, like father like son, I thought to myself as I continued to rub his back. Dean gave up on playing with the rest of the guys and came to sit next to me.

"How you doing?" He asked quietly to not wake the baby.

"I'm fine," I answered and got the look from him that said he could see through my lie.

"Shell," Dean started ad I could tell this was going to go into a conversation that I didn't want to have.

"Don't," I cut him off and handed him Michael, "take him for a minute, please."

He carefully moved the baby into his arms so he wouldn't wake him and I walked into the house trying to collect myself. I wouldn't cry in front of my brothers, I couldn't. I was supposed to be their rock but even rocks crumble on occasion.

"Hey, Michelle, could you grab some glasses?" Andrea motioned with her head since she was already carrying a pot of coffee and thing of creamer.

"Sure," I nodded but stopped her before she went out side, "Andrea, when you do laundry mix the detergent and softener together and use two dryer sheets. That's the way Dean likes it."

"Thanks for the tip," she smiled and headed out the door.

I went to grab a few of the coffee mugs and saw Jessica trying to balance a couple of pies on her arm.

"_You aren't winning this one Sam," Dean argued taking another forkful of pie and shoveling it into his mouth._

"_Yes, I am. Tell him, Shell," Sam protested as he scraped the frosting off his cake._

"_What are you arguing about now?" I sighed looking up from the research I saw trying to get done for my dad._

"_Dean says pie is better than cake," Sam replied as he licked the frosting off his spoon._

"_It is, pie is like…like heaven you can eat," Dean said gazing at his pie the way he looked at girls._

"_Well, Sammy, Dean's right," I shrugged as I got off my chair and walked over to him, "Pie is better."_

"_See," Dean smiled triumphantly until I took the pie and smashed it into his face._

"_See, Sam with Pie you can't do that."_

"Jess, do you have any whipped cream?" I questioned with a plan forming in my head.

"Third shelf in the fridge," she replied and caught the mischievous grin I had on my face, "Why?"

"You'll see," I smiled squirting the whipped cream onto a plate to make it look like another pie.

"Just leave me out of it," she laughed shaking her head.

"Sammy, cake or pie?" I asked walking out and lifting the whipped cream plate in the air while setting the mugs down on the table.

"Pie," he answered knowing what I was going to do as I walked up behind Dean and smashed it into his face.

Everyone busted out laughing at the look on his face when the plate fell. Thankfully, Dean had passed Michael off to dad while I was inside.

"Ha ha, very funny," Dean mocked whipping some of the whipped cream off his face and I started to get nervous as he rose from his seat. "You're just forgetting one thing big sister."

"Yeah, and what's that?" I questioned nervously taking an instinctive step back.

"That I can still tackle you."

We took off running but I didn't get very far before Dean had me pinned to the ground and was smearing the whipped cream all over my face and in my hair. Giggles and laughs surrounded us as we rolled around on the ground like we were little kids again. I couldn't help but laugh and squeal in surprise when Dean managed to get it up my nose.

Even though I was incredibly happy at that moment I couldn't help the ping of sadness that settled deep inside of me. In one weeks time I wouldn't be here, rolling around in the dirt with my little brother. I wouldn't get to fix the relationship with my dad, I wouldn't get to see Michael or Lucas grow up and I wouldn't be there to protect my brothers anymore. Life would go on; they would still have family barbeques and celebrate birthdays. Dean would teach Lucas how to drive and Sam would teach Michael how to build forts out of couch cushions but I wouldn't be there to watch. But I guess in all reality life was going to go on _because_ I wouldn't be there and somehow that made everything ok.


	16. If You're Reading This

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Inspired by the song from Tim McGraw 'If you're reading this' and from Lonestar's 'I'm already there.'**

**TheAngelGirl357 this one's for you!**

If You're Reading This

Michelle-32

Dean-29

Sam-27

Fours hours. The seconds seemed to be flying by as I sat on a bar stool in the middle of no where. The hallucinations had started yesterday and though I had received numerous calls from Sam and Dean trying to figure out where I was I never answered. This wasn't something I wanted them to see. Knowing about it was one thing but forever having the image of me being ripped to pieces by hellhounds was not something they needed.

I didn't bother looking up from my glass when I felt someone sit down next to me as I watched the amber liquid slosh from side to side.

"I've heard a lot about you Michelle Winchester," the man stated in a monotone voice. Thinking I was hallucinating again I didn't answer. "I'm not a hallucination." I turned my head to see a man in a light brown trench coat with the most beautiful blues eyes I had ever seen. "Glad you can hear me."

"What do you want?" I asked tiredly not wanting to spend the last couple hours of my life fighting off a demon.

"You," he stated simply.

"Yeah, get in line," I laughed cynically finishing my drink off and motioning to the bartender for another one.

"I know all about the deal you made, about all the selfless acts you've done over the years and I'm here to make you an offer."

"Well, blue eyes," I sighed looking up at the clock on the wall, "I'll do whatever you want but in three and a half hours my time is up."

"You've never been a bitter person, Michelle, don't start now."

"I don't know if you didn't hear me or you're just pretending that you didn't but I only have a few hours left before I go get a permanent sunburn downstairs so unless you are propositioning me for a couple hours of raunchy this-is-my-last-day-on-earth sex please just go away."

He cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brow, "Angels don't partake in such human needs."

"Right," I scoffed. Well, this was certainly one of my more amusing hallucinations unlike the others that had been terrifying.

"There's a war in heaven and we could use someone like you," he stated and I wanted to make some witty comeback or even dispute what he was saying but there was something about those blue eyes that had me curious for more.

"Go on," I urged.

"I can't break your deal but I can…change it…if you accept."

"Meaning?"

"There is nothing I can do to keep you with your family but if you accept my offer you will spend eternity in heaven instead of the depths of hell," he explained looking completely uncomfortable sitting on the stool next to me.

"And let me guess we seal it with a kiss?" I questioned with an eyebrow raised almost hoping he would nod.

"No, I just need you to say yes," he shook his head.

I really didn't see any down side to accepting his offer. Either he was telling the truth and I would go to heaven or he was lying and I would end up in hell anyway.

"Can you give me a few minutes?"

"Call for me when you are ready."

And just like that he was gone, vanished right in front of my eyes though no one else in the bar seemed to notice. I asked the bartender for paper and an envelope and when he started giving me a hard time I threw a hundred dollar bill on the counter.

"Um, angel dude," I sighed at how ridiculous I sounded, "I'm ready."

**General Point of View**

"Dean, you got mail," Andrea called out as thumbed through the letters and tossed the junk into the garbage.

"From who?" Dean questioned confused since no one besides Sam, Bobby and his dad had their address.

"Doesn't say," Andrea shrugged.

Dean opened the envelope only to see another one stuffed inside.

_Read with Sam_

"No," Dean whispered staring at the all too familiar writing.

Not thinking twice he got in the car and drove to Sam's making a call to his brother on the way with the letter sitting beside him in the passenger seat. Sam met him at the front door; the two embraced each other before sitting down on the couch.

"I haven't opened it," Dean said softly handing the letter over to Sam.

"You read it," Sam shook his head blinking back a few tears.

_To my two boys,_

_If you're reading this I'm already gone. I'm up here with mom and we're both watching over you._

_Sam, I won't be there to see Michael grow up but I hope he looks like you and fights like me. Make sure you tell him how much Auntie Michelle loves him and that no matter where he goes in life I will be with him. Teach him to stand up for the innocent and the weak, teach him what it means to be a Winchester and teach him that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it. Jessica is a very lucky woman, she's your shinning star and together you can get through anything. I'm so very proud of you, my Sammy, you finally have everything you always wanted._

_Dean, if you don't man up and marry that girl I will find a way to comeback and haunt your ass. Always keep an eye out, take precautions but stay home with Andrea and give up hunting. You deserve to be happy, to be loved and to be taken care of. I don't really know how to say goodbye to my best friend so I'll just let you know that the Impala is parked at Bobby's waiting for you. Do me a favor though, teach Lucas how to drive, how to change the oil without turning into a grease monkey and show him the right spot on the dashboard you have to hit twice to get the cassette to eject._

_Tell daddy I'm sorry for everything. We argued more than not, we were hard headed and impossible but I'll never regret being his daughter. _

_I'm sorry I had to leave you both but remember I am always going to be around. I'm the sunshine in your hair, I'm the shadow on the ground, I'm the beat in your heart and I'm the whisper in the wind that will keep you going. We may be a thousand miles apart but I know I'll be in your dreams tonight._

_Just remember that I'm in a better place where soldiers live in peace and angels sing amazing grace. So enjoy your whipped cream pies, make forts out of couch cushions, live your lives to the best of your ability because I wouldn't want it any other way._

_Take care of each other._

_I love you both to the moon and back twice,_

_Shell_

_P.s. Never forget what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and you two are the strongest people I have ever known._


	17. Innocent Questions

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know!**

**Enough sad/depressing chapters, how about a cute one ;) I know it's short but I didn't think it needed anymore. **

Innocent Questions

Michelle-12

Dean-10

Sam-7

"Why doesn't Dean have to fill out his paper work for the new school?" Sam questioned as we sat at the small table in our motel room.

"Because dad has him doing something else," I answered vaguely not ready to tell our innocent Sammy that Dean was out training with dad.

"Here," I said placing his form in front of him with a pen, "fill out as much as you can while I do mine and Dean's, ok?"

"Ok," he nodded enthusiastically taking the pen in his hand and sounding out his name, "S-A-M."

"Full name, buddy," I reminded not looking up from the paper.

"Why am I a Samuel?" he questioned taking extra time to make sure each letter was perfectly written.

"Well, who else do you want to be?"

Laying his pen down on the table he scrunched his forehead as he sat in silence for a minute before finally speaking up, "Robin."

"You want to be a bird?" I asked confused as I looked up from the table only to see him rolling his eyes at me.

"No," he sighed dramatically, "Dean says he is Batman so that makes me Robin."

"Then who am I?" I questioned wondering what his young imaginative mind would come up with.

"Shell."

"Right, I know that, but if Dean is Batman and you are Robin then what does that make me?" I tried again hoping to hear something like Wonder Woman or Superman, hell; I'd even take Aquaman at this point.

"Our sister."

I sighed in defeat, "Just finish filling out your paper work."

He picked the pen back up and finished spelling out our last name, "hey Shell, do you think dad will take me out sometime like he does with Dean?"

"Someday, buddy, but not until you are older," I answered adding silently to myself, _much, much older if I have anything to do with it._

We fell back into silence the only noise coming from our pens gliding across the paper.

"Shell," Sam spoke up after a few minutes.

"Yeah?"

"What's sex?"

I don't know what I was expecting him to ask but that was not it. I pressed down on my pen so hard that it actually tore the paper a little. I cleared my throat uncomfortably as I met his waiting eyes. Of all times for dad to be gone and of all times for him to ask, it was now.

"Umm…" I stuttered not really knowing where the question had come from or how to explain such a thing to my younger brother when I myself had just learned about it in health class.

I got off my chair and made my way to the small kitchenette. I pulled out an egg and held it in the air, "this is what happens when chickens have sex."

"What?" He questioned and I could tell I had only confused him more.

Setting the egg down on the table I took out a piece of paper and started drawing stick figures of a man and a woman, "See, when he," I pointed to the stick man I drew, "loves her," I pointed to the stick girl, "they sleep together and they make this," I pointed to the stick baby.

"What the hell are you teaching him?!" My father hollered walking into the motel room and seeing the drawing I had on the table.

"He asked what sex was," I answered softly and watched my dad's face falter for a minute unsure of what I had just said.

"Yeah," Sam nodded and pointed to the line on his school forms, "it says name, address and sex."

Dad shook his head while Dean busted out laughing. I, however, was mortified.

"Put male," Dad continued to laugh as he made his way to the bathroom to shower.

"How'd it go?" I asked Dean trying to change the subject completely embarrassed that I just talked to my little brother about sex when that wasn't exactly what he was curious about.

"Fine," he shrugged plopping down on one of the beds and flipping through the television channels.

I told Sam to go watch cartoons with Dean as I finished up our paper work for school the next day and found myself smiling as I heard Sam rambling on about how Robin is the best sidekick ever.

All was forgotten about our little chat earlier until bedtime and Sam let out a scream when I crawled into the bed beside him.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked frantically thinking he was physically hurt.

"What's going on?" Dad asked setting his beer down on the table as Dean got out of the other bed.

"I don't know he just started screaming!"

"Sam?" Dean questioned trying to figure out what was going on.

"I don't want to have a baby!" he exclaimed curling himself up in a ball.

"What?" I asked feeling more lost than ever.

"You told me when a boy and girl sleep together they get a baby," Sam replied wrapping the sheets a little tighter around his shoulders.

My dad ran a tired hand over his face and proceeded to explain to Sam it was impossible for two people to sleep next to each other and have a baby together but he made sure to add in a little warning when he said that any girl besides me had cooties.

Years later and both brothers still ask me what sex is just to get a good laugh, but hey, at least they know they can ask me anything.


	18. Roles Reversed

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**I know it's been forever since I've updated and I sincerely apologize! I have started three different chapters for this story and just can't seem to finish one but after working on the last chapter of 'You Don't Know the Meaning of Fear' a sisfic that I am co-writing with my best friend, wandertogondor, this idea came to me. Hope you enjoy! (And if you haven't done so already check out our story! You can find it on her page and under my favorites tab) I know a few of you have requested chapters, I promise I did not forget! I will get to them!**

Roles Reversed

Michelle-20

Dean-18

Sam-15

"Alright, I think I found us one," Sam spoke up as he laid the newspaper down on the small table in the musty motel room.

"About time," Dean mumbled as he sat on one of the beds sharpening our knives having just finished cleaning the guns. It had been a whole three weeks we had gone without working a case and I, for one, was more than thankful but Dean had become increasingly restless.

I rubbed the base of my neck trying to get the knot out from sleeping on the lumpy mattress the night before. "What do you got, Sammy?"

"Well, a couple of towns over a guy won the lottery," he started until Dean cut him off with a scoff.

"So because he is a lucky bastard he must be evil, right?"

"Let him finish," I kicked my foot forward successfully hitting Dean in the shin and motioned for Sam to proceed.

"There were also reports of ghosts in the women's showers at the local health center," Dean nearly cut himself with the machete as he heard this but Sam continued. "And some kid was noted tipping over a van and then…well…"

"What?" I questioned wondering what could have been weirder than a kid tipping over a van something that a grown man would have had trouble accomplishing.

"Apparently, there was also a Bigfoot sighting," Sam finished looking over to Dean and me waiting for our reactions.

I was too tired to even comment while Dean stumbled over his words, "No way…uh…really?"

"Apparently," Sam repeated and turned his gaze over to me. "Should we call dad?"

"No," I shook my head remembering the fight we had gotten into the last time I had saw him. "Pack up, we'll check this out ourselves."

It seemed lately when ever my father and I were left in the same room alone even for a few minutes a fight started. The last time had been about Dean taking the test to get his G.E.D. something I fought tooth and nail about. The one thing I thought my father and I always agreed on was that no matter what both boys would get their diplomas. I guess I was wrong. Dean had taken the test, passed and had been enjoying the freedom of not having to go back to school. Father or not these were my boys and I wanted to make sure they got the very best. They deserved that much after how we were raised and the destiny we had been assigned to.

"Hey, you with us?" Dean waved a hand in front of my face with a concerned look on his face.

I broke out of my thoughts to see the room completely packed up, weapons cleared off the bed and both brothers staring at me expectantly. "Yeah, yeah let's go," I nodded rolling my shoulders a little to try and loosen my muscles.

"Want me to drive?" Dean offered still searching my face to try and figure out what was wrong.

It was only two short months ago that I had ran the Impala into a tree after falling asleep behind the wheel and Dean asked to drive every chance he could.

"No, I'm fine," I replied and sighed when he gave me a look that screamed he didn't believe me. "De, it's a couple towns over I can handle it."

He stood there, lips pursed together in deep concentration until he finally gave a small nod. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how extra protective he had gotten recently though I didn't really find myself complaining. It was nice to know that someone cared even if my father wasn't around much to show it himself.

"Although," I started with a grin on my face, "there is something you can do for me."

"What?" Dean questioned hesitantly.

"Crack my back," I replied twisting from side to side trying to hear that little 'pop' that would give me much needed relief.

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes but he nonetheless walked over and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing tight and lifting my feet off the ground until my back popped in two places. He kept his arms around me for a second to make sure I wasn't going to fall over, something that happened the first time he had cracked my back, before letting go and tossing me the keys to the car.

"What do you think this could be?" Sam asked from the backseat as we pulled out of the motel parking lot.

"I don't know, spirit maybe?" Dean more questioned than stated and looking over to me for my opinion.

"I'm sure there is nothing going on," I assured. "Just a backwoods town with nothing better to do than make up stories for entertainment."

"Yeah," Dean sighed. "Maybe you're right. Every hunter knows Bigfoot is just a myth."

"But isn't that just the point," Sam argued shifting forward in the seat so his head was placed between our shoulders.

I glanced over at him before returning my eyes to the road. "Want to elaborate, buddy?"

"I mean most of our information or research for a case comes from town legends and myths. So, who is to say that he's just never been seen and maybe, just maybe, this is the actual town where the legend started," Sam rattled off.

"We'll look into it but I'm pretty sure the only big feet we will find is Dean's," I replied playfully smacking the side of Dean's leg with the back of my hand.

He gave me a sarcastic smile and cranked up the radio to block out anymore conversation until we arrived. Of course, Sam wanted to go straight to the library but Dean's stomach had other plans as he pointed out a Chinese restaurant.

"You're a bottomless pit, you know that?" I mumbled as I parallel parked the car.

"Yeah, like you're not hungry," Dean challenged as my stomach loudly growled. "I thought so." I got out of the car and was nearly knocked over as a group of kids flew past us. "Run, Forest, run!" he called after them and just innocently shrugged as I rolled my eyes.

It was always more important to me for my boys to have the best childhood they could possibly have than for me to have my own. That didn't mean that on occasion a pang of jealousy wouldn't sneak up on me but as always I pushed it down and went about my day.

We ordered, picked a table and were halfway through our food when I got an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I excused myself from the table trying to plaster a smile on my face though I knew both brothers could see right through it as I nearly ran to the bathroom making it just in time for our lunch to make its way back up, burning my throat as I vomited into the toilet.

I came back out and noticed a wishing well that I had missed on the way in. Pulling a penny out of my pocket and smiling at the juvenile notion I tossed it into the water. "I wish I was a kid again."

**General Point of View**

"Think she's alright?" Sam questioned nervously turning around in his chair to look in the direction Michelle had just sprinted off.

Dean sighed and ran a tired hand across his face trying to hide his own concern. "Yeah, you know how chicks can be."

That's when he saw his sister walk out of the bathroom and stop in front of the wishing well. Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding he went back to eating his food and almost choked. There right in front of his eyes his twenty year old big sister shrunk.

"Shell!" Sam exclaimed running over to the wishing well with Dean right in tow.

The little girl with chubby cheeks and pig tails looked up at them expectantly and gave a little wave. Sam slowly waved back not believing what he was seeing as he glanced over to his older brother with a shocked and worried expression on his face.

"Uh, Shell," Sam started unsure if his sister's mind was still there or not. "How old are you?"

She held up three pudgy fingers in the air and smiled widely, "I's this many years."

"Oh, crap," Sam mumbled running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"De," Michelle tugged at the bottom of his jacket before putting her arms over her head. "Uppie!" But when Dean was too stunned to comprehend what was happening she started stomping her foot and chanting the word over and over again. "Uppie, uppie, uppie!"

"Dude, just pick her up," Sam whispered loudly noticing the attention they were drawing from the other customers.

Dean seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had been in and scooped Michelle up in his arms. "Sam, I think it's time to call dad."

"And say what? 'Hey dad, we now have a _little_ sister'?" Sam questioned as Dean started towards the door but was stopped when Michelle tapped him on the cheek.

"Cookie."

"No," Dean shook his head and opened the door to the restaurant stepping out onto the sidewalk. "No, cookies, we need to fix this."

"Cookie, cookie, cookie," she repeated bouncing up and down in his arm.

"No!" Dean yelled and she frowned for a minute before wiggling to get down.

When her feet hit the ground she ran over to Sam and pulled on his pointer finger to get his attention, "Cookie, Sam-Sam, cookie!"

Sam was about to agree with Dean until he saw her bottom lip start to quiver, "just one, ok?"

She clapped her hands together and watched as Sam walked back into the restaurant to get her a fortune cookie. Michelle looked over to Dean while Sam was inside and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Here," Sam handed her the plastic wrapped cookie and went to climb into the backseat of the Impala.

"Uh, Sam," Dean called out pointing to Michelle who was trying desperately to open her cookie. "I think you've been promoted to the front seat." Dean sighed as he scooped his sister up in his arms before buckling her up in the backseat.

"Open," she said waving the cookie in his face.

"Michelle," Dean groaned, thankful for once that he didn't have any younger siblings other than Sam.

"Open, open, open," she demanded pounding her small fists on the seat.

"What do you say?" Sam asked from the front.

Michelle looked up at Dean through her long lashes and muttered very quietly. "Please, open."

Dean snatched the cookie out of her hand easily opening the plastic wrapper and breaking the cookie in half to take out the fortune before he handed it back to her. As he slid into the driver's seat Dean only hoped he would have no trouble checking into a motel room since he just turned eighteen.

Dean glanced in the rearview mirror so he could pull out onto the street but his eyes fell on Michelle in the back happily kicking her feet as she munched on her cookie and a smile spread across his face. Certainly, taking care of a three year old wasn't on his list of things to do today or ever for that matter but it was the first time since their mom died that Michelle looked totally and completely happy. It took Dean turning on the Winchester charm but somehow he had managed to get them a room until they could figure out what to do.

"Who's going to call dad?" Sam questioned peeking into the backseat and noticing Michelle had fallen asleep after her cookie was gone.

"You," Dean replied simply standing next to the parked car keeping a close eye on his sleeping sister.

"No way!" Sam exclaimed holding his fist over his palm. "We do this the right way."

"Fine," Dean huffed matching Sam's stance. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot."

Sam had picked rock while Dean held out two fingers. "Oh Dean always with the scissors."

"Come on, two out of three," Dean held his fist over his palm ready to go again but Sam crossed his arms refusing. "Argh!" Dean complained taking out his cell phone. "But that means you get to take her into the room."

Sam glared at Dean's retreating back before looking into the backseat. He carefully opened the door and unbuckled her seatbelt trying not to wake her but he failed. She woke up making a fist and rubbing her eyes tiredly as she looked over to Sam with a pout.

"Come on," Sam held his hand out so she could take it but she shook her head and raised her arms in his direction. _Oh this is so weird_, Sam thought as he hoisted his sister out of the backseat.

He unlocked the motel room door and was about to lay her down on one of the beds to get more sleep but she clung to his body like a koala bear. Sam couldn't help the way his heart swelled someone actually needed him to take care of them for a change. He sat down in one of the chairs and flipped through the minimal channels that motel offered while Michelle laid her head on his shoulder and absentmindedly twirled a piece of his shaggy hair around her finger.

"How'd it go?" Sam asked quietly as Dean entered the room and shrugged out of his leather jacket.

"Well, he's a lot closer than I expected," Dean admitted sitting down on one of the beds with his back resting against the headboard. "He'll be here in a half hour."

"Awesome," Sam sighed shifting a little as his arm started going numb. "Did he have any idea how to fix this?"

"His best guess was witches but we haven't been in town long enough to have pissed anyone off. He's going to check in with us and go from there I guess," Dean replied leaning his head back and banging it lightly against the wall.

"Hey, Dean," Sam started after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah?"

Sam was nervous of the answer he would get but he had to ask. "What if she's stuck like this?"

Dean had also been thinking the same thing but not wanting to worry his little brother he shrugged it off. "Dad'll fix it. Remember what Shell always says, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', she'll be fine."

"She's not dead, Dean, she's friggin' three years old!" Sam yelled making Michelle jump at the sudden noise.

She climbed down from his lap and walked over to where Dean was sitting. Michelle gripped the comforter tight in both hands as she pulled herself up onto the bed and curled up on Dean's lap pointing over to Sam, "he scared me."

Dean tried not to laugh as Michelle scowled at Sam and played with the charm on Dean's necklace.

They were still sitting like that when John entered the room a mere twenty minutes later stopping short when he saw his daughter. An innocent smile was on her face but it was her eyes that had his heart skipping a beat. It had been years since they looked that full of life and hope.

"Daddy!" she smiled sliding off the bed and running full speed over to John who engulfed her in a hug as soon as she got close enough.

"My little seashell," John smiled hugging his daughter close to his chest and placing a kiss to her forehead.

"I had a cookie!" Michelle smiled then pointed over to Sam. "He gives it to me when De was mean."

"And why was he mean?" John chuckled soaking up every second he could of his daughter's innocence.

"He said no," she answered dramatically before tugging on the collar of his jacket, "Can I gets down now?"

John placed her back on the ground and watched as she ran straight back to Dean. "Boys," John nodded in greeting.

"Dad, what do we do?" Sam asked glancing over at his sister as she had become completely engrossed in the cartoon that was on the television as Dean played with her curls.

"What happened again?" John questioned taking a seat next to Sam.

"We were hungry so we stopped to eat and halfway through her food Shell bolted to the bathroom. When she came out we thought everything was fine…until it wasn't," Sam replied.

"Did you see anyone talk to her as she came out of the bathroom? Anyone bump into her accidentally? Did she do anything out of the ordinary?" John rattled off trying to figure out what happened. In all of his years of hunting this was definitely a first.

"Uh…" Sam thought back, "I don't think so, she was standing there one minute and the next she was…well…three."

"Yeah," Dean nodded confirming what Sam had said. "She was just standing there in front of the wishing well like this."

John's ears immediately perked up, "Wishing well? Did she make a wish?"

The boys exchanged looks and both shrugged as Dean answered, "you think she wished for this?"

"I don't know," John replied softly his eyes landing on his little girl again. Had she wished for this? Had he over looked her feelings for all these years? "Where's this wishing well?"

"I can show you," Sam got off the chair at the same time his father raised from his.

"No, I think you should stay here. If Michelle is anything like she was when she was _actually_ three you're going to have your hands full," John smirked remembering the countless hours of chasing her around their old house with Mary. "I think I know how to fix this, I'll be back."

"Hey, dad," Dean called out stopping John from leaving. "We should fix this, right? I mean if she wished for it…it's just…should we?"

John smiled sadly as he walked over to where his children were on the bed leaning over and brushing a piece of hair out of Michelle's eyes. "Yeah, Dean, we need to fix this."

"Da-da," Michelle tugged his jacket and motioned him to come close so she could whisper in his ear. "Can I's color?"

"Yeah, seashell," John replied grabbing the motel stationary and a pen and taking the cap off before handing it over to her. "Daddy'll be back, ok?"

"Ok," she answered already scribbling on the paper not paying attention to anything else in the room.

John watched her for a few more moments. He was doing the right thing, wasn't he? Maybe this was a second chance to do things the right way. No, he shook his head, the boys need her even if they won't admit it. She is the one that takes care of them. I have to do this. John gave her one more kiss on top of the head before walking out of the room and speeding towards the restaurant.

"Look, De, it's Sam-Sam," Michelle held up the paper of scribbles proudly.

"Looks just like him," Dean laughed as Sam gave him his infamous bitch-face.

"I don't know what dad was talking about, she's been fine," Sam spoke up as Michelle crumpled up a piece of paper and tossed it at him.

Sam picked it up and tossed it back to keep her entertained but it only lasted a few throws before she got bored of that. Michelle then decided she wanted to jump on the bed. She had jumped only three times before Dean barely caught her before she fell off the side.

"No more jumping," Dean instructed surprised at how such a small thing could make his heart beat a mile a minute. Michelle started playing the drums on top of Dean's head and it was Sam's turn to laugh at his older brother. "Alright, enough," Dean exclaimed sitting her down next to him. "Look Scooby-doo is on."

"No, doggy," Michelle shook her head and held her hand out. "Mote."

As long as she wasn't jumping on the bed or hitting him in the head Dean was willing to watch whatever would keep her quiet so he handed the remote over to her but in a matter of seconds she had the managed to make the screen go blue.

"Now what?" Sam sighed as he watched in shock as Michelle chucked the remote at the television angry that it wasn't working even if she was the one that broke it.

"How the hell should I know?" Dean exclaimed as Michelle crawled off the bed. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Potty," she answered walking towards the bathroom but stopping when she couldn't reach the switch. "Lights, De, lights," she pointed into the dark room.

"Sam," Dean groaned, "Go turn the light on."

"No, you do it," Sam argued.

"Just get up before she pisses the floor," Dean hollered as he watched Michelle jump from foot to foot.

Not wanting to clean up his sister if she had an accident Sam quickly got up and turned the light on.

"Thanks you," Michelle nodded before slamming the door in his face.

She was only in there for two seconds before the brothers heard a loud 'thud'.

**Michelle's Point of View**

My back was killing me as I stared up at the stained bathroom ceiling. Had I passed out in the bathroom?

"Shell?" Dean knocked on the door frantically. "Michelle, are you alright?"

I pulled myself off the floor and opened the door, "I'm fine," I replied as I was almost knocked over from the hug I received from Dean. "What are you doing?"

"You're alright?" Dean questioned pulling me back and looking me up and down.

"Fine, where the hell are we?" I asked walking out into the room and seeing Sam's shoulders relax. "Everything ok, buddy?"

"Yeah, now," he nodded with a smile. "What do you remember?"

I thought back but kept coming up blank almost like I had been in a deep sleep. "Lunch?" I was surprised when my father walked through the motel room door, his eyes looking relieved as they landed on me. "What are you doing here?"

I saw Dean slightly shake his head as my father's smile fell. "Nothing, I was just passing through and thought I would check in."

"We're fine," I replied coldly. He gave a slight nod before walking out the door. "What the hell is going on?"

"Somehow I don't think you'd believe us if we told you," Sam replied.

Dean handed me a piece of paper with scribbles all over it. "What's this?"

"It's Sam," Dean smiled before playfully shoving my shoulder. "Hey shell?"

"Yeah?"

"Want a cookie?"


	19. A Day of Firsts

**Author's Note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural only Michelle belongs to me. As always if you have anything you want to see please let me know! **

**Got this idea from LunaEvanna Longbottom, I hope I do it justice! **

A Day of Firsts

Michelle-18

Dean-16

Sam-13

"You're taking him _where_?" I questioned angrily almost choking on the soda I was drinking.

My father was unfazed by my tone as his eyes never left the gun that we had taken apart to clean. "It's time for Sam to go out on his first hunt, Michelle. Dean was thirteen when I first took him."

I was ten. I had never been so scared in all my life. We had dropped the boys off with Pastor Jim and after dad spent a couple hours digging the grave with me as a look out I was to pour the salt and douse the bones with the lighter fluid before dropping the book of matches into the hole. We stood there in silence watching the bones of a person I had never met turned to ash before our very eyes. My father saw a job well done. I, on the other hand, saw the image of my mother.

"Take me," I spoke up screwing the top back on the soda before it spilt all over the bed. "Dean can stay with Sammy in the room or I can even go take care of it myself."

He snapped the clip into place with the bottom of his hand, his movements skilled and unflawed. "It's time."

"Why?" I demanded quickly losing any control over my anger.

"Because I said so," my father replied in such a final tone that I should have known better than to continue.

I _should_ have, but this was my Sammy he was talking about and I wasn't going to let him go without a fight. "No."

"No?" my father's eyes met mine for the first time since he had brought up the ridiculous idea.

"No," I repeated crossing my arms in a vain attempt to show him I wasn't backing down.

My father chuckled a little shaking his head, "it's funny you think you even have a say."

"He's my…" I started with an outstretched hand to the motel room door where somewhere on the other side of it Dean and Sam were out in a grassy area training.

"Brother," he cut me off before I could finish. "He's your brother, Michelle, I am his father and I say he goes. End of discussion."

"You're…you're his father?" I spat out angrily. "You're his father now that he is old enough to be a part of this insanity you insist on calling a life? Where were you when he needed someone to teach him to tie his shoes? Or…or when he won the spelling-bee in second grade? He's my brother, yes, but I have been more of a parent to him than you've ever been! So, don't you _dare_ say end of discussion."

The need to protect both my brothers from everything and anything the world had to throw at us was instilled in me at a very early age. I didn't know anything else and very much like a mother bear protecting her cubs I would not under any certain terms throw my Sammy out into the world of the supernatural. To dangle his life so carelessly over the edge, that at any second could drive him to his death. I'd die long before I saw either brother lose the light of life in their eyes.

"You better remember who you are talking to, little girl," my father nearly growled slamming the gun down on the table and roughly pushing his chair back as he stood tall.

Dean and Sam chose that moment to walk through the door drenched in sweat and covered in dirt. Sam grabbed his duffle and headed straight for the bathroom to shower while Dean took in the way my father's jaw was set in a firm line to the way I was standing with my arms crossed.

"Everything alright?" he asked hesitantly as he used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face.

My father and I however didn't answer as if we were silently staring each other down refusing to be the one to give up and I was shocked to say the least when he spoke first.

"We'll leave as soon as he's done in there," my father gave a slight nod towards the bathroom where we could hear the shower running.

"No," I grounded out.

Dean looked over to me confused. I had never put up any sort of fight about when we left a town before unless it was something to do with the boys.

"Michelle," my father gave a warning taking a step closer to me.

The warning didn't fill me with fear or respect like he would have expected and I took a step towards him as well ready to take a swing if I had to. I'd lose of course but that didn't mean I wouldn't go down swinging.

"Whoa," Dean quickly put his hand on my shoulder keeping me from getting any closer. "What the hell is going on?"

"Your sister needs to remember her place in this family," my father seethed.

"My place?" I questioned angrily as I fought against Dean's hold to get in my father's face.

"Alright, chill out," Dean grunted as he pushed me behind him and held me there with one of his arms.

"Dean? Shell?"

All three of our heads snapped over to where Sam was standing looking confused as ever as he ran a hand through his wet hair.

"Get your shoes on, son, we're heading out." Sam's confusion never left his face as he silently sat on one of the beds to lace up his boots. When he was finished my father threw him his jacket and strode to the door. "We shouldn't be more than a couple of hours."

"Just us?" Sam asked in shock.

"Time for your first hunt, Sam. Just an easy salt and burn the next town over. I'll give you the details on the way there."

"H-h-hunt?" Dean stammered letting his arm drop from holding me back suddenly realizing why I was so upset.

"Not you too," my father sighed. "We don't have time for this. Sam, let's go."

"Please," I begged willing to try anything. "I'll go instead. He's not ready."

My father gave me a curious look before turning to Sam. "Is she right? After all the training you've gone through are you _still_ not ready? Are you not the Winchester I raised you to be?"

"How could you…" I started ready to kill my father for belittling him like that and making him feel guilty enough to go on this hunt.

"Sam, I asked you a question," my father cut me off.

"I'm ready, sir," he answered automatically and in such a monotone voice that the anger in me tripled.

"I expect these to be cleaned by the time we get back," my father motioned to the weapons bag on the table before walking out the door with Sam in tow.

I stood, frozen in my spot, staring at the back of the motel room door for what seemed like hours though I'm sure it was minutes. He was gone just like that. I didn't even get a chance to hug him goodbye, to tell him to be careful or to remember to watch for the kickback from the shotgun. Part of me wanted to race out to the Impala and chase them down, even if I never got close enough for them to see me only so I could make sure he was alright.

I eventually sat down at the table where Dean was taking apart one of the guns just like my father had done earlier. The same precision and understanding plastered on his face though I was pretty sure he's be able to do it with his eyes closed by now. No matter what he tried to talk to me about my mind kept wandering to Sam. I was so wrapped up in going every possible worst case scenario that I had let the knife I was sharpening slip, cutting the tip of my finger.

"Shit," I cursed before sticking my finger in my mouth to clear away the blood.

"Let me see," Dean held his hand out.

"I'm fine," I sighed getting up and putting a small Band-Aid on it since it wanted to be difficult and not stop bleeding.

I couldn't sit back down as I paced the length of the room, glancing over to the clock between both beds every time I passed it hoping the minutes would tick by quicker. I was getting frustrated with the clock and about ready to yank the thing from the wall.

"You're going to wear out the carpet," Dean commented as he repacked the weapons in the bag but when I didn't answer he let out a long breath. "Shell, I'm sure he's fine. The worst thing that'll happen is a splinter from the shovel."

"He better be," I barely whispered as my back was to Dean before spinning on the pads of my feet to start back the other direction. "If one hair is out of place on that shaggy head of his…"

"You should have seen him today," Dean stood up tossing the bag by the door before throwing himself on one of the beds. "The kid knows what he's doing."

I didn't miss the proud look in Dean's eyes as he complimented our younger brother but it still didn't put my nerves at ease and with good reason too as my father burst through the motel room door supporting Sam. Dean immediately jumped up from his spot to take Sam from our father and lay him on the bed.

"What the hell?!" I demanded pushing my father out of the way so I could see what the damage was.

"He's fine, just a little bump on the head and cut on his leg."

Ignoring what my father was saying I rolled up Sam's pant leg and apologized profusely when he winced. There was a good sized gash on his leg that definitely needed to be cleaned but it wasn't deep enough to need stitches. I was more worried about that 'little bump' my father had mentioned as I watched Sam struggling to stay awake.

"Hey buddy," I plastered on my smile as I brushed some hair out of his face. "How you feeling?"

"Shell?" he questioned scrunching his forehead.

I shared a concerned look with Dean both realizing that he had a concussion. "Yeah, Sammy, I'm here."

"'Mmm real tired," he slurred his words a bit.

"I know, buddy," my voice cracked a little but I refused to let any tears fall. "Dean's going to sit here and keep you awake for a little bit, ok?"

"Dean?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah," I confirmed as Dean sat next to him letting Sam rest his head on his shoulder as he talked about trivial things just to make sure he was alright. I then turned to my father, "outside." My father looked ready to argue but one quick glance over to Sam made him realize the boy didn't need to hear the argument that was about to ensue. "I'll be right back," I told Dean and Sam too though I doubt he was paying attention.

As soon as the motel room door was shut my father started, "I don't know what the big deal is, it's not like you or Dean has never had a concussion before."

"Do you even care?" The question came out so easily.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't care what happens to us," I stated with so much realization that I almost crumbled beneath its weight. "You hunt and you research looking for revenge and we're what? Collateral damage?"

"Seashell," my father hung his head.

He wasn't going to argue what I just said? I was right?

"You need to go," I swallowed the lump that had started to form in my throat.

He gave an impermeable nod before silently walking over to his truck and driving away most likely to the closest bar. I stood outside a few more seconds so I could pull myself together before walking back in the room. What I saw warmed my heart. There was Sam fast asleep with his head on Dean's shoulder who had also drifted off to sleep his head resting on top of Sam's. I knew I'd have to wake Sam up in a couple hours to check on him but for now I'd let him sleep.

I dug through my father's duffle until I found the bottle of whiskey he kept stuffed in the bottom. I'd never had an understanding on why he always insisted of running to alcohol every time something went wrong. I had a few beers once at a party I went to but other than that alcohol didn't have a place in my life until tonight. I unscrewed the top and poured myself a glass. I sipped on it letting the liquid burn my throat and warm me from the inside out.

I woke Sam a couple hours later and was relieved when he knew where he was and what had happened. Knowing he was going to be alright I went back to the bottle and poured myself the fourth glass of the night.

"Shell?" Dean questioned a little while later as he woke up to find me sitting on the floor my legs pulled up in front of me and staring at the half empty bottle in front of me.

"I'm fine," I tried not to slur my words but my voice cracked giving me away. "Just go back to sleep."

"Are you drinking?" he asked in a surprised tone as he got off the bed making his way over to where I was sitting and taking the bottle out of my hands.

"I should have protected him," I whispered letting the alcohol take away the strong exterior I usually had around my brothers and letting the tears roll down my face. "I should have fought harder for him to stay."

"Hey," Dean sat down next to me and pulled me into his side, "he's going to be alright. You know we'd never let anything happen to him."

I cried into his shoulder feeling ashamed. I failed as a big sister. Sam was hurt, my father only cared about revenge when I needed him the most and Dean was acting years older than he should have to be.

It was a night of firsts. Sam's first hunt and the first time I turned to alcohol for comfort. It was a dangerous road to go down but being Winchester it was the only thing I knew.


End file.
